I was searching my photo archives and found this gem.

If I remember correctly, I just woke up and realized that the Bed Head fairy had given me a near square cut. I dunno what else to say. Move over Spongebob Squarepants and Behold SquareCut BedHead.

I would like to note that my hair is totally natural. No additives to it.. When I went to a hair dresser to twist it, she didn't believe it was natural.

Is this how being buzzed feel like?

We started this drinking game with CSI Miami. Every time David Caruso puts his head down and raises it to say some thing corny, we drink. Every time they play the techno music to disguise the boring , mind numbing part of CSI work. we drink. Needless to say, we finally did it on the last 20 minutes of a show and wifey got buzzed. She is coherent and still walk but defintely impaired. Is this what buzzed is about?

The room is spinning around and am a little unsteady on my feet. Interesting feeling. I can't imagine what would have happened if we did the drinking game to the full 1 hr show. I don't have any desire to drive  at this state. Man, the room is unsteady..

Hmmm, tequila.......

Am allergic to the homeless

Not really but I am slightly peeved at them. Ok quick recap. Wifey and I went to a homeless shelter to help out on Xmas day. the shelter were giving free thermal underwear, hats , gloves and food out. Awesome experience, simply because it gave me pause to realize that I am freaking blessed to have what I have now.

Anyway, I came down with a severe throat infection. Coughing was very painful and I was sucking down cough drops to numb the pain enuf. I think my immune system got dropped kicked by a bunch of people with a lot more germ power than I had.

o now I am laid out in bed, drinking orange juice. hot toddies and any other concoction that my wife deems necessary for me. She even had plans for a Vicks hot tub experiment for me but I wasn't about to do so.

All in all, I would do it again. In fact, i will do it again. Volunteering for stuff lik that makes u realize what blessings u have as you exist right now. It makes u appreciate life as it is for u.

One thing though. if people hare are soo destitute.. how are folks in countries in Africa. Nigeria sef? we do ourselves a great disservice not contributing to reducing poverty in any way we can.

merry Xmas to me.

Wifey got me a camera lens!!! It is freaking sweet. I can soo much zoom in. I can really get into the details. Xmas presents are awesome!!!

Quick Note to God: Nice work in the the wifey blessing!!

New thots on the TMobile Dash.

I have been using the Dash for a while now. I got the 1gb Micro SD card with it.. Sweet!!! everything has been well so far.. I have had trouble with WIFI though. I got it to log into my WIFI network but it was really slow. I mean Sloooow. I thot I would try another network without encryption but It didn't improve any. I will try the library wifi. MAn, I hope I can figure it out. wa is the point of Wifi if it is So sloow?? Shoot, It seemed that the EDGE network was faster.

Other than that, I am enjoying the phone. I think the bible sw I found would work very well. Pocketnester is a small Nintendo system on ur phone.. I dunno how functional it will be but I bet it would be nice in the DMV or small spot of bureaucratic hell that requires me to wait.... I will add pics later...

Google SMS is Kickass

These days when I think I need cellular internet to do stuff, I  go to Google SMS and see if they have the functionaltiy.  If you don't know what Google SMS is then sit down.. Daddy will have to school you. You send a message to 46645( Googl) and you can get directions, Movie times, addresses, weather and even Phone listings.  All in text message.

You wan tot know how to get from 2343 lamar Blvd , Austin, tx to 15000 Reasearch Blvd, Austin, texas ?  Sned it to Google and get their directions on your texts..

You can even get sports news. Like socres and stuff. Tis fantastic!!!!

I am freaking blessed!!!

 I have come to the realization that I am greatly blessed. I look back at my life and see all the trials and tribulations I have gone through. I look at where I am right now and I realize that I have had favor beyond what I expected.

Coming out ot College to finding a job and finding a wifey like mine… Unbelieavable. I can't sit here and say that I deserve anything that has happened to me.

I am blessed indeed. What have I struggled against that my God hasn't given provision for?

I am getting the T-Mobile Dash! Glee!!

I am sorry. My igboness waged a valiant war against my technophilia. Both sides raged and struggled to come to dominance. I twas tough and hard but my technophilia is a woman with big knockers and it was what befell my igboness. Technophilia was breathing heavily and Igbo man 's eyes strayed from her face for a second and she bashed his head in with the Excalibur!!!

For a while T-Mobile has lagged behind Sprint and the rest with their phones.. Well, actually they haven't. They just haven't had the Treo and were late to hook up with the Razr. The T-Mobile SDA and MDA are good phones and I think Sprint has a better marketing dept cuz I see the Sprint PPC-6700 more than I see the T-Mobile MDA.

All that changes with the T-Mobile Dash. Otherwise known as the HTC Excalibur. Smartphone know the less but with a qwerty keyboard and WIFI?? Great googa mooga!!! That is awesome!!!  I can throw Pocket Street and trips on it and have an entire Map of Austin in it.  It has a Mini SD card slot that DOESN'T require the battery to be moved to use. Get on ur knees with me and thank Jehovah for that feature. Granted, I would prefer to not have to remove the back cover but it is a compromise I am willing to live with.

I have decided that will stick with Smartphones from now on. There are more features and customization is very available. Programs and games galore and the beauty are contacts. I can sync my contact with Outlook so if my computer dies or I lose the phone I can get another phone and resync and voila!!!!  There is absolutely NO reason why I should have to send hours reentering my contacts with a new phone. No Sir!!

My igbnoess had fallen to the floor, Beaten and dazed. It watched as technophilia brandished Excalibur. As his vision faded, he realized that Excalibur cost $50 less than it was supposed to be. My igboness can go to sleep now. It's work is done.

The price I paid was cheaper than the online site eventually that is. I still have to send in for the mail in rebate but you best believe I will do so!!!  I have seen an abundance of hack, tweaks and games for my Dash. Merry Xmas to ME!!!!!!!!!

 

Why do we type WWW still???

 I mean, it's totally unnecessary. CNN.com just just as well. Why even use the COM even? Well, THAT doesn't work. there are some programs that allow u to only type names like that AOL, Google but if using a normal browser, CNN.com is the most expedient way to access the website.

 

Ok, I am good now. Rant over.

 

Mustangs ,Vipers and CLKs are short man cars!!!!

i went to the Austin Car show. It wasn't too spectacular. Only one concept car that I saw built by Ford. It looked like a Maybach with a truck bed. U know how there is soo much space in the back of the Maybach? Same thing with this car. I wish I had my camera with me.
PLS believe me!!!

Anyway, the thing I wanted to talk about is the fact that few sports cars are built for tall people. I am pretty well proportioned. I know my legs might be long but they aren't mutant long.

I love the new Mustang. Car looks sexy. Tres sexy. Wifey agrees with me. I finally tried got into one. I so tried cuz I don't believe that I should have to hurt my knee and almost twist an ankle getting into a car.

I also feel that I should be able look straight at the windscreen not at the very edge of it. Now I know some cars have adjustable seats but if I have to bring the seat all the way down, we have already passed the point of comfort.

Then in the Mustang, i couldn't even turn my hear properly without fear of hitting my head on the side of the roof.

Granted, I couldn't adjust the seat cuz it was a car show but my freaking honda gives me better head space than the Mustang!!! I have never appreciated the fact that I can turn my head and look str8t at the windscreen.

Now if I can't get into the Mustang then the Viper is simply laughable. I couldn't get over the fact that I wasn't comfortable in that car.

Good grief!! what sport cars do tall men drive?? Certainly not the Mustang and vipers!!

I know someone that was kinda taller and he drove a drop top Mustang though..Older version. I wonder....

The highlight of the show was the Dodge Magnum SRT 8. Ohh that is sweet car!!!! SWEET!! I wants it.. I needs it... Smeogol... My preciouus...



That and the Dodge Charger, I think i am sold. I want that car. Now I have to find a rich, insecure girl that thinks I will leave my wife if she gives me 2 Dodge Magnums. I am tired of hearing about those women gifting undeserving men with stuff like that!!!! I want mines..

Or i could just buy it. the rich gal story is going to be MUCH more entertaining than me purchasing it though. Hoochie stories usually trumps hard fought savings stories.

Fear of in laws

I survived the in laws!!! Wifey unit had the entire family come to our place for thnxgiving. Now I knew that they were coming but I still had to stifle an initial emotion of panic.

All her family here in this small, tiny apt. My apt isn't small by no means but with with 4 extra people coming in, my apt felt like a litter box.


I couldn't get over it. I reduced the gibbering fear to a slight whimper. Wifey couldn't help me cuz this is her family! her people. I was the intruder that that took their only daughter. They are coming to MY place and staying in my place.


What if they don't like the way e live? What if they think I am not good enuf for her?What if they think I don't treat wifey right and proceed to beat me with cold turkey legs?


Not rational thots but in laws initiate my fight of flight instincts. It turned out great though but I didn't realize that I had such fears. It wasn't until the parents had left that I was relieved.

Now imagine if I had bad in laws. I would need anti ulcer medicine.

My life is good.

P.T.F.C Post thanksgiving Fridge Confusion.

I have noticed a new condition in the thanksgiving season. It is called P.T.F.C Post thanksgiving Fridge Confusion.

This condition is initiated when the leftovers are piled into identical clear zip locks bags and loaded in the fridge.

The sheer amount of food satchels in the fridge combines to create this condition where one is paralysed when seeking foodal elements for your post thanksgiving meals.

Look at this picture. I don' know what is meat or stuffing. Beef or chicken? I don't know. I can't tell. I have spent at least 15 minutes staring at the fridge in total confusion. All the zip lock bags look the same and I am scared of upsetting the obviously precarious balance of the fridge.

I ate a lot for thxgiving but I have eaten considerably less after the food had been loaded on the fridge.

Check this pic out. I am lost!!!! I don't recognize my fridge no more. All I know is the Cherry Lemonade bottle at the bottom and that is my go to choice.

Even though I wanted meat, I would stare at all the zip lock bags and my brain would freeze.

See the pic. Tell me I am not crazy. This is a real condition.

My trip to the country!!!

I have returned from the freaking country!!! My boi D invited me to his in laws' farm ranch an hour from where we live. Wifey is from the Chi and so far, she has been disappointed that I don't regularly milk cows and rock big ass belt buckles. So actually going to the country and be at a real life ranch was a no miss event. I trust my boi and he is of the African persuasion so I know that my deliverance scares can never happen. Although if anyone comments of my purty mouth, I am outta there!!!

So we rolling to this joint, Mapquest, google maps ready. Sorry just joking. mapquesting the address was an experience in of itself. Yahoo maps laughed at me and pointed me to the downtown area of the nearest town. I figured that going to Main Street CAN't be a farm ranch. I then went to Google maps. My main source. My trust worthy maps source. Nothing. I think Google maps laughed at me and showed me a map of Texas with a "good luck buddy" icon next to it. Slight hyperbole? Maybe but I swear the browser laughed at me.

I was literally going to off the beaten path. Since technology has failed me, I called our hosts for personal directions. I was essentially told to drive til u leave all civilization and wait at the solitary gas station and wait for them to rescue fetch us. Now u know that filled me with buckets of joy. Any place so far of the beaten path that requires us to be picked up scares me.

Now why did we go still? My boi is naija. We go way back. I don't owe him money and since we past the last Bank ATM 30 miles AGo, I am good. If he can handle this then i can. Plus wifey is never scared. So we rolled. As we drove, I spotted my boi's car. Great, so we all caravanned with him and drove... and drove... and freaking drove... .

I checked my phone. No signal. No strike that. No freaking service. Dear God, T-mobile don abandon me oh.. we soon turned off the highway and started driving on a narrow ass road that looked too small to be a 2 way road.

i comforted myself with the existence of Power cables along the road. At least we will have electricity this weekend. Lights are not essential for me. I am Naija remember?? My checklist is simple. I want indoor plumbing and hot water. I didn't come to Yankee to do cold bucket baths again. Walahi.

What? We turning off this narrow country ass road?? Into a red gravel path?? Chineke!! We can't drive more than 20 miles on this road!! Where in God's earth we going?? I sat back and reaffirmed my trust on D.

Finally we are here. the house is Nice. Beautiful house. electricity- check, indoor plumbing- check, hot water- hell yeah!! I think this will be great. the folks at the place were great..
Life in the country is relaxing for real. U feel the tension of city life melt off.

1st thing on the agenda- Fishing. We start heading for the fishing hole. there is this cool game they play in the country. it is called " Try not to step on the steaming or dried pile of cow crap". The winner gets to wear their shoes again after the weekend. Back to the fishing. My wife represented. 5!!!




I never thot fishing would make her so happy. See the pictures for evidence. All in all, i enjoyed my time there. The people were fun and I made new friends. I learned that living in the country shows u how much personal interaction we miss in this tech whole we live in. Don't get me wrong. I love my Internet and cell phone. Anyway, I have blogged enuf.

I can't cook... Sue me!!!

I can't cook. Haven't been able in a while. Don't really see much desire to do so. Even in my bachelor alone days, I still didn't' cook much. I scrounged off family friends and dear sister to get cooked meals. I survived, In fact, I look pretty damned good for a guy that blanks out when people hand him measuring spoons and says words like "fold, baste, fricassee" Cooking channels are just as entertaining as Telemundo for me. Both channels speak language I don't understand. Most important thing is that i survived.

Now wifey comes into my life and she loves to cook. Wants to cook. Knows that I don't want to cook or can cook. She is OK with it. Now, some men and women will look at her in disgust for "accepting such a subservient female role". They are mugus all of them. If she didn't cook, I would still eat. the reason she cooks?? Honestly dunno . Don't care. My wife cooks cuz she loves me.

When I compliment her on the delectable meal, I have. Her face lights up. It is in my best interest to speak on her fooding skills as effusively as possibly. I think she likes it when I throw in a bunch of adjectives and do the holy ghost dance after a steak dinner. I thin collapse on the bed but I think she likes that as well.

It works for us and I am not about to be messing with a good thing. maybe some day I will surprise her with a home cooked meal. I will also rent a crash cart and ready the defibrillator as well. I might need it.

A timeless idea for a tattoo.

I have finally found a timeless tattoo. I have wanted on before a while but I have refused to get one fr any reason. I needed to find a timeless reason to get one and I think i have found one.

I will tattoo my wife's name and the name of our kids. I dunno how I will do it but this is the first idea that actually struck a chord with me.

I was thinking like a scroll that shows her name then the kids name. When the last kid is born, we close the scroll.

Wifey WILL hate it though. I emailed her to let her know and I promptly got a phone call about it. Needless to say, I had to spend 15 minutes reassuring her that I will turn to an exhibitionist or tattoo addict. That ish is painful!! I need a very good reason to go there!!!

P.s I have no kids as I type. No kids coming. no twinkle in my eye at all.

p.p.s I will have to write about wifey's tattoo fears, some are pretty hilarious..

LESS Talking, More Ovulating!!!!

I saw this kid at work. Strange thing since most folks I see at work are men, very few women and some people that are barely women. U might think it harsh but U have not seen what I have seen..**shivers**

Anyway, the kid. he was so cute. Big eyes, curly hair, the sort that would grow like an afro. he looked at me and waved. he smiled and my heart melted.

I left my work and asked him his name. He told me and added his age in the cutest. he said, I am three!! As he raised 4 fingers in the air.

I decided that I might as well give him some knowledge so we worked on the correct finger formation for the number 3. Soon enough, he got it and we proudly showed the number 3 for all to see. The conversation dried out by then. He had exhausted his chest of nuggets in the time it took to get the 3 formation thing. So he went for the tried and true declaration.

He pointed to his daddy and said "that is my daddy!"it was said with so much pride and surety that whatever was left of my heart pool liquidated and poured out of my chest cavity. God help me, he was adorable. it was one of those moments where you would forget all the crappy things he did to u for the last 2 years.

As soon as he left with his Daddy, i called my wife and the convo went like this.

Wifey: hi baby:
Me: funny u say that, I want kids.
Wifey: what?? u want kids?
Me: I saw a cute kid, i talked to him. I want one.
Wifey: Ok baby, we will talk about his when u get home
me:" I will not be distracted from my quest!! I want babies..
wifey: we will talk later sweetie...
me: LESS TALK More ovulating!!!!

true story!

Not one of my proudest moments but the child was very adorable. the feeling wore off by the time I got home though. i think I am almost ready for kids. Almost. When I get there I will have to convince wifey that i am going to be a great father.

previous child rearing comments about shock collars and tasering our kids will certainly bite me on the ass. Women!! can't take jokes..

Today's WTF moment

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8828472/

Most folks have seen the Catch a Predator series. Where they lure freaks that want to sleep with underage chicks? I think I have seen it 3 times. Now u would think that these nut jobs would prefer to stick to Net porn as opposed to going for the real illegal thing.

It does bring up an interesting question. Who is sicker? the one that actually goes to have sex with underaged girls or the one that beats off to it in his house? The obvious choice might be that real beats cyber but what about the kids being exploited to create net porn??

An argument might be that some of these girls might actually want these encounters but Lord knows how many girls actually want to follwo thru with net speak?

These guys are sick. Prison will not help them. if they were Mormon, their priest could have hooked them up with a young wife ;)

Rants and Runminations.

Curious thots.
If women are soo complicated and men so simple, why are men so difficult to understand?

Why is any single relationship seeking woman doing when she announces that she can't stand sports? I am no sports fanatic but any woman that denounces any sports is automatically disqualified!!

why do successful women expect to find equally or more successful men to marry?? Men don't do that. A surgeon isn't looking for an investment banker to marry. I will say that it doesn't make sense for a surgeon to marry a laborer. what if she has to stop working whilst pregnant? Who is going to make the payments on the S class??

Why do people keep buying shit on credit?? How u gonna spend 4 yrs paying for a car and then trade it in for another car and continue ANOTHER 5 yrs of making payments? It isn't a good decision ANY way u look at it.

There has to be a point in car prices where u stop paying for the car amenities and start paying for the pimp factor. I mean 250k for a Bentley??? OK forget Bentley.. what about a BMW vs a Mercedes? What is in that $70 000 car that Isn't in a $140 000 car? Can someone please explain that to me? Anyone?

--------------------------
i detest Wednesday. they are so desolate. the middle of Work tedium. it offers no hope nor challenge.

• Monday brings the beginnign of the inevitable week. One must face their fate bravely.



• Tuesday has no status. it is just tuesday. i hold no grudge against it.



• Thursday Is one day before Friday ( E-day) It hold promises of better things ahead. the festive colors of the weekned start to peek out.



• Friday is freaking awesome. the Day is just a prelude to having 2 days of none working bliss. Folks talking about plans and not spending much time causing work. Friday is Emancipation day. The slaves are freed on Friday. If they weren't, they SHOUld have been.



• Wednesday. Wednesday pisses me off. the stark center of the work week. It plagues me as I wake up. I start at the clock and ask God why I have to go to work today. mind u, my job is not bad. Imagine if I had a crappy job. I would be soulless by now.
  Wednesday IS No hope day. It holds no Hope for me.

Johnny Carinos Country resturant

Wifey told me as we drove home that she wanted to go to a resturant called Johnny Carinos. It is a Country Italian restaurant. I have not been there cuz I don't think they will have much more of a revelation in Italian food than I have already seen.

that wasn't the reason my beloved wanted to go there.She thot it was a Country Western Italian resturant and was interested to see what kind of cuisine they serve. Barbeque fettucine? Chicken fried Chicken Parmesan??

She is new to the Texas and is in awe with the ability of the state to countrify or mexicanized anything. Even Asian restaurants are advertising Vietnamese fajitas. trust me, Texas is strong on their country ish. I bet there is a cowboy mafia that comes to each restaurant to make sure that the country interests are acknowledged in each restaurants.

i guess I can see how she might think so. Didn't stop me from laughing at her though. crazy woman.. i love her so...

Simon R Green is my brainmate.

Simon R Green is in my head. Simon R green is a sci fi fantasy author. I first found one of his books-Deathstalker on a layover in the UK going to Nigeria.

The book was defective. A good chunk of pages were misplaced in the book and it really disrupted the flow of the story. Even with such a damning error on the publishers part, the book was amazing. I laughed out loud , stomped my feet and luxuriated in this tale.
the plot wasn't mind blowing. the prose wasn't that incredible. It was his imagination. He had one of the most vivid imaginations I have ever read in a while and it showed. I love the characters. I loved the way they acted.
He takes a genre and pounded it til it fit the way he wanted. His words had Charisma. That is the best way i can describe it.

It is like wrestling. Most of the time, it is 2 muscle bound guys faux fighting on the ring. Yawn!!!!
Sometimes it is the Freaking Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin going at it and U know that it isn't the same.
Now u might be asking yourself. why? Why is this guy so taken by this author? I will tell you why. Simon has balls. Big brass ones. He is one of the few that will take a archetype and twist it around and inflate it til it is 10 times as big as it was before and much crazier. I keep doing double takes on the liberties he takes with characters. A dragon with a butterfly hoard? A Alien reptile called Saturday? The Ashrai? A Norwegian Demi God private detective? the madness maze? The Walking Man, the burning man, the Unbeliever, Razor Eddie, the sisterhood of the travelling razor, Street of the God, Jennie Sorrow- the Unbeliever? Haceldama? The snide humorous dialogue. it is awesome!!!

I think I have read more than 10 of Simon's novels. Under the Blue Moon/Beyond the Blue Moon are still one of my fave books to read.
Jericho Lament is my favorite character in any book so far. Bar none. I think he appeals to the christian in me. Jericho Lament, God's wrath made manifest in man. the man strikes a chord in me with his writing. I don't know what characters he will spring on me next.

I also noticed that he seems to throw in christian influences in his books. Of course there are other Gods but usually the Christian God isn't one to be F**ked with either. I think i like the fact that he is willing throw it into his gumbo stew of a story. I just think it is cool. By no means a Christian author but it is still cool.

Jesus is hardcore!!!!!!

Going back on what I wrote, one would think that I like the guy a little TOO much. Not so. I just enjoy his work and I think it shows int he way I describe it to people. I do have bitch points on Simon Green too..
The deathstalker series went on 3 books too long. Obviously, he was paid to lengthen the series. i am not going to fault his the chance to make more money. Imagine a situation where Happy Potter has graduated and working a wizard 9-5 job and it unhappy about it. Yeah, he took that story line way TOO long.

Read Deathstalker 1-3 and enjoy. read 4-6 at ur own risk.
Then read Under the blue Moon then adventures of Hawk and Fisher then Beyond the Blue Moon.
Drinking the Midnight wine, Shadow fall, the Nightside series and maybe the ancillary Deathstalker books. U will be in for a wild ride. my mind runs free when I read some of his works.

I will come back and add links to this post so u can check him out if u are in the mood for some truly fun reading.

edit- added links. enjoy folks.

I got my first comments!!!

U know how u know someone but u really don't? U see them around but u hardly hung out? then for some reason, u actually stop and have somewhat of a conversation. It feel like the impressions u have about someone get removed and u get a glimspe of the actual person. It is like I just met Femi yet I have known him for a whle now. Femi has one of them myspace cult blogs with lots of friends that read it religiously.

I know cuz wifey is part of the Cult too. A fledging Texasider. It is my goal to make sure she never gets past the Oil wrestling with 2 female acolytes initiation stage. It is imperative to bring a camcorder to that part of the ceremony and THEN yank her from those people. Some of these cults do have thier uses to a degree.

Wat happen after said Oil Wrestling stage?? I dunno and I don't want to ask. Noone can look me in the eye and tell me.

Again, I digress. Femi put comments on my blog today. I have been nervous about letting folks see this blog. I think it has too little and sometimes most people don't get my humor. They think I am crazy. I believe Femi said words to that effect.

He is cool though. Once u get over the whole Cult leader thing. ;)

The question is whether I should advertise my blog to my friends and see what they think of it. My mind fleets from one point to another so fast, I don't bother trying to make the connection sometimes. Maybe they will laugh, shake their head and come back again. WHo knows??

Lionel Ritchie,his supposed inherent sexiness and possible correlation to my 4some fantasy

my wife is a lionel ritchie freak. I mean seriously. Let me put it this way. if I was ever able toget Lionel to come and serenade her in our house, I am pretty certain that i could ask for a foursome with her 2 best friends and she would at least pick up the phone to float the idea to them.

I doubt that fantasy will ever come true but i am perfectly happy dreaming about it. MMM..... 6 boobies of varying sizes.. Now where did I put my whipped cream????

Ok, back to Lionel! Forgive my salacious digression. Lionel played on Leno last night and wifey was very happy to see him. In an attempt to drum up some quick love points, I asked her the closest place to us where Lionel will be touring?

She promptly opened her computer and checked. I knew he wasn't coming to where we live already but I expected that if it was up to 3 hours away, we could make that trip.

Wifey knows I am not that great a Lionel fan so so every hour I drive her, I am racking up them crazy sexual position points.( 2500 more points and I get to try reverse cowgirl while braced against a door sill!!!!)

(( 9/14/06 reverse cowgirl on a door sill????? is that even possible??? ))

I waited patiently as she looked on the computer and I will not forget the answer she gave me. Wait for it...

Belgium

Yes, the freaking country! the closest place to us my wife could find that Lionel was touring in this year was freaking Belgium!!

Naturally, this trip is currently not my usual search on travelocity airfare searches or Enterprise rental I expected a town close to us so to hear a country freaking thousands of miles away was a slight shock. Not too bad but enough to cause me to blink rapidly for a good 5 seconds.

I had to ask myself. How far was I willing to go for a 4some with her best friends? Would it be Belgium?? I dunno. There are lengths I would go but Belgium???

I imagined a trip to Belgium to see Lionel and the ony way I considered it was if all the passengers in the plane were the Pussycat dolls, danity Kane and tyra Banks.

Actually screw that. I would do it only if all those women were there, nekkid and horny and I was the only man in sight and my wife was videotaping my virile performance.

I am sorry, I had to stop and chuckle on that mental image. Not the women though. I just CAN't imagine how wifey would even do that. that is just funny to me.

I love my wife. She is soo good to me. She will maim me if I ever suggest a 3some. No talking. No arguing, just str8t maiming. She knows I have disability insurance.

My boy just got married!!!

My boy just got married last week. I am very happy for him. Man, i took soo many pics on that day. 400 pics!! I was astounded!! i didn't imagine that i would be able to take the pics. My camera is my work house. Any other camera would have given up the ghost. Really like taking pics. it think it is the best mixture of technical savvy combined with artisitic expressions. I think this might be my passion. I love taking pics..

Here is us at the wedding...


Now since this is my blog, I will post a pic of us first and then I will post a couple of my fave shots...













These ladies I have know for a couple of years and when I looked at this pictures, I realized that they were growing up to be women. Too quickly.. I mean, they were growing normally but it still felt too quick. And I am not even their parent or sibling. They are growing into beautiful women. Hopefully they will be smart enuf to watch out for those bastard men that wreck women for no reason other than feeding their penis needs. but I digress.


I love this pic cuz the moment was impromptu. Nothing planned. Just a bunch of friends joined the groomen circle and ejoyed the union of a couple they have known for a while. I was moved by their camaredie. thank God for Google spell check for I don't have to spell THAT word again.

Quick thots

Have u ever wanted to listen in on your own funeral? let'say u die today.. what would people say about u? What would they feel about u? Which non family member has been touched by ur life that prompted them to take a dive into your coffin asking God to take them instead.

It would be a trip wouldn't it? Even better, maybe u can listen in on the thots folks had about u? I wonder what that would be like. Maybe when we die, we actually get to stick around for that. What is 2-3 weeks roaming the earth checking out ur old haunts compared to eternity? Would it be ironic? FInally the ability to spy or chicks while they are nekkid and u have no libido to relish it?

Alone at last.

I am startled when I am alone now. Sometimes I tell my wife that I will go do stuff and I will sit in the hose alone by myself. Luxuriating in the experience. the pleasure of being by myself in my place. Pottering on the computer. Watching TV. Just enjoying being myself.

Am i wrong for feeling that? I should be myself with my wife but Lord knows i feel freer here by myself..i wonder why?

Sweet Baby Jesus of DRM!!!

Remember Napster and Yahoo music?? those progs that let u download as much music as possible as long as u pay ur monthly fees? Music rental if u will?? cool notions but the thot of renting music rankles some folks. whenI say folks I mean geeks like me. i had Napster for a while for work. Seriously, my job required me to use Napster pretty well. ;)

When I cancelled the service, 5 gigs of music on my computer could no longer be played. useless..wasting space. I had a deletion bereavement ceremony.

Now I see this on a gadget website.

http://www.engadget.com/2006/08/25/fairuse4wm-strips-windows-media-drm/

Essentially, this prog removes the DRM from tbe wma drm file u download from Napster. So essentially, u can pay $15 a month to get as many files as u want!! Until M$ sees this and fixes it.

See this is the problem with DRM and digital music. Am suprised it took them this long to figure it out. I don'tfeel bad for record companies at all. Firstly, they force feed us tripe i.e $17 CD with 1 good song on it. refused to release the single of that good song. no wonder students( the money bags that they are) jumped on the digital music bandwagon
so hard.

It took3 yrs before mainstream realized folks were downloading like gangbusters then that shit exploded due to the Gospel according to Shawn Fanning. Creator of the Original napster.My his name be praised at hallowed websites.

6 sue crazed years,itunes later, pe ople are STILL downloading like crazy.

Now this... if u want to test out the free trial of Napster or Yahoo music, this might be a good time to do so.. the worst is that u end up with a least some cool new music til they fix this exploit.

If u are a student that gets free Napster or Yahoo at ur school. Dear God in heaven, I envy u. you have been given the power to emancipate ur slaved WMAs. Free them!!! looose the chains!!! Give them frrrreeedddooom!!! of course that shit is illegal but freeing slaves was illegal at a time.

yes, i see the absurdity of comparing slavery to WMA DRM. Bite me!!

Domestic abuse of the wierdest kind.

Coming home from an outing with the sister unit. Blues on the Green. Essentially, people gather at a big field and listen to blues whilst they sit, herd their spawn around (dog or tiny human), drink, smoke weed and listen to blues music.

Now I am no fan of blues. I will sit the rest of the world and nod intelligently when music is played but blues doesn't move me. I enjoy spending time with my sister. I think I am re-capturing a closeness of my siblings I have not had for a long time. Maybe we are all growing and realizing that family is important but my sister is the reason why I was there. But I digress, my outing with my sister was notwierd in any sense. Except the point where a friend tried to gross me out by sayign that she heard that my sister was very "tight". Noone needs to imagine their sister in any sexual way. I still have to suppress the initial 10 second KIll reflex when I meet a guy that might be interested.needless to say, I was not very happy about that statement. Thank God for alcohol.

Anyway, back to the end of the blues concert. We were driving home past a commercial area. SO no houses at sight right. We pass 2 people standing as if they are hitch hiking or waiting. As we past, my wife notices that the guy hanked the woman's hair and she dropped to the ground. Wifey is definitely some one that feels strongly against anything that smells of domestic violence so we spin around and come back for a better look.

Well, she was right. they were fighting.At least the woman seemed to be. Kicking and screaming et all. I was in the middle of a domestic incident in the middle of a strip mall. How did it get here? The womas is screaming that she should be left alone. The guy was proclaiming that she was his wife and they were going home..But wait.. it gets better!!! The man is built like a brick house. Pectorals the size of D cups. Pectorals without the muscule. The man was a freaking woman. I was witnessing a lesbo domestic incident!! Holy Candid Camera!! This can't be real!

The butch looking chick was proclaiming that the long haired ball of fisticffs struggling to get free was her wife. I almost retorted that it was not possible in Texas. Vermont or Massacusets maybe but not in the ATX. I didn't think that was wise.

Now, I asked wifey to call the cops and I wanted to see if I could stall them til the cops came. I opened my mouth and tried to get thier attention. The ball of fisticuffs forgot that she was resisting going away with her man/woman and turned on me. SHe had a mouth on her!! I was amazed. She was defending her "husband". I immediately felt sorry for all policemen that have to deal with these kind of situations. Although , I doubt they deal with these lesbo domestic situations as much as the usual penis vs vagina variety.

The couple left and drove off in a car. we gave the plates to the cops and went home. Wierd, i tell u. Wierd. I thot these lesbians were more civilized than the heteros. hmm...

Superman returns review

Got a couple tinglings in my naughty bits when Supes fly around in the movie. defintely not gay though. I had my hand on my wifey's breaticles when that happened so it cancels out. The story was ok.. Lots of emotion and lovey dovey, stalker shit. Yes, Superman is a stalker but anyone with X ray vision will sucuumb to the dark side.. It is inevitable.

I am hoping forr Pirates of the caribeean to redeem this summer but then again it IS the Summer. When else do movie goers get more disappointed??

CNN movie reviews

it freaking annoys me how spoiler ridden their reviews are. I mean by the time u read all the info, u know the plot tiwsts e.t.c it spoils the movie for u. Another thing is that I can't remember the last awesome review they gave a movie. Now granted, movies quality has been in the toilet recently.

Exhibit A:


but i get the feeling that CNN only gives bad reviews to movies. Honestly, the more I write, I don't Mind the bad reviews. i just wish they would give spoiler free reviews. I would like a chance to find out for myself. All i know about Superman returns is that he returns and Lex luthor looks deliciously evil. (thank you Spacey)

Am going to see it on Thursday with my wife and sister. I hope it is fun!

Now back to Little MAn.. WHAT the F**K??!!!!if the bar wasn't dropped so low by Soul Plane, i would be bemoaning the efforts of African American men. This looks terrible from the get go. they must be operating on a tight budget to break even on this. video sales maybe??

BTW, who green lit Dr Doolittle 3???

Work has been crappy lately.

Man, i have not had a good time at work recently. For the longest time, I have come out of the office looking tired. i mean, i know some people have exhausting jobs but I have not had one like that ina while. Not physically tired. just mentally. Making me doubt how good I man.

I am getting a fight or flight reaction though but I gotta believe that what I have now is better than where I was before.

Pisses me off cuz I get this vision of being tired from work and wifey is tired from work and we just snap at each other. God please let me be strong enuf to see that and do something about it.

Don't call me well trained...

I hate being referred to as well trained by married women. Especially by a bunch of married women that think it is their right to be condescending since they currently outnumber me. That ish pisses me off. I mean I am not an idiot. I love my wife and she is great to me. Phenomenal to me.

It makes sense to want to reciprocate. The way I look at it, the more stuff I do for her, the better for me. Like my boy jesus says, If you want the Blow Job train to keep making regular stops at your station, u had better maintain the tracks and concessions at your station!! I mean really.. Does that mean I am being trained???

I went from a subway sandwich meal being the most balanced meal I ate to 3 course dinners. No chicks to constantly available hot chick wearing as little clothing as possible. I went from throwing a shirt, shoes and sorts for a trip to getting an entire damn suitcase packed for me with any shit I might need ready to go. I am not well trained, I am freaking blessed. Nice tits, nice bod, raging libido, sense of humor and intelligence to boot. I mean the chick loves kungfu movies.. Kungfu!!!!!!!!

My chick can kick ur chicks ass anyday. Pick a category.

Cooking? Ur ass is cooked. She throws down.
Looks- I got pics negro. I have that ish on lock. If urs is better. I bet she isn't natural. Mine is..

Sports lover- She WANTS to watch playoffs and football with me. DO u hear me?? SHE WANTS to watch it. No the pansy ass, sit with him to spend time with me nonsense that some women throw out to make themselves look good. She watches it with ME!!

Sex- dat's personal but trust me…. I am kicking ur ass in this area as well. maybe while u are reading this too..

I am not well trained. I am well blessed. If I do things for her, I do it cuz I am not a fool and I like a good thing to go as long as humanly possibly.

Speaking of which I hear a train approaching… Hmmm..

where those loose women that dig married men I hear about?

Where are those loose women that I hear so much about? The ones that go for married men like bees to honey?? I have seen nada. All I get are congrats, eeyahs and when did u guys get married??

No " I lust for forbidden man " stares
Nada on the ' quest for unavailable men" attitudes.
Nothing..

I am hurt.

There are some reasons I can come up with and I am sure all ur haters can come up with extra.

1] I am ugly: Obvious choice if you have not seen my face but I know I am not cuz chicks dug me before I got hitched and I have too many damn pics of myself to think that. I am an ok looking guy but definitely not ugly. Forget that..I am damn sexy!!!

2] Too Happily married: could that be possible? I was thinking that the ladies sense I am perfectly content with mine so they back off to find other more dissatisfied prey? I would hope not. U would think women like that would appreciate a challenge.

3] I don't get out as much: Personally, I think it is this one. If I don't frequent any hoochie haunts then I will not have to spray for said hoochies. That being said, does that mean that the man needs to look for these women? I mean, the way these chicks were portrayed. U would think u get married and soon after, u are fending off sex crazed single chicks determined on being the other woman.

Shoot, if the guy has to find them and feed them a sob story about how their wife doesn't understand them then the women are not to blame. Those idiot men are doing it all by themselves..

I wonder if there is a happy medium. Instead of going to the Hoochies Den, maybe I can find a spot where they occasion now and again. Something social with an aftertaste that attracts the hoochies. Maybe some snotty rich guy association like Habitat for Humanity. Hoochies go there right?? Or better yet, join a fraternity. Nothing like chilling with a bunch of horny college students to attract the non discriminatory hoochie.

I don't want to partake of the fruit of evil but I would like to see it offered to me. Of course, Adam made sure that the person that offers it will not be delectably nekkid (thanks Adam, punkass bitch) I do take heart at the fact that any hoochie prospects would be advertising the possibility of seeing said nekkidness in the immediate future. That is all I want. The offering.. Not the taking.

Nay sayers would point out that I am asking for trouble. Yes I am. I have all kinds of other trouble but I want this kind. I would be pleased as I dunno what if I could go home and tell wifey that some hoochie wanted to jump my sexy bones. I would provide exact details, names, addresses and work numbers if possible.

Nothing would please me more than to see wifey give me that " I want to cut a heifer stare" cuz if I play my cards right, I can get the angry competitive sex. Hopefully not before the prank cell calling and " leave my man alone bitch" speech.

The angry competive sex is gooood. She wants to leave u weak and tremblingon the bed and nothing is too far. Oh.. The possibilities and positions..

Dammit, I need a hoochie to improve my relationship. Where is help when u need it?

1 job review and 2 promotions later!!!!!

I was about to post a little spiel I was inspired to write. I looked at the last post I made. I had to make an update of what has happened since. Last blog, My boss told me I was coasting in my job. In essence, no big raise, just a little something extra. With the price of gas it is , it doesn't make a difference.

I was steamed as u might read but I am soo different from that guy on that time. Maybe this blog thing is not so bad. I should schedule a weekly update cuz there is NO way I can do a daily blog. My life isn't that interesting.

Anyway, I had gone on an informational interview in a group at the Enterprise side of my job. I was looking for information. Nothing more. Next thing I know, I was being interviewed. Soon after, I was offered a job. Now 2 weeks after that ass roasting known as a job review, I get an offer for a job on a higher job level plus bump in pay!!! Awesome! I am also moving into a Enterprise which I wanted to. Praise God. Can u imagine the turn of fortunes?
But wait, it gets better, within 2 weeks of being in this job, we get folded into another group known as the EFE TAMs. Now the TAMs are a job I was aspiring to. Now I get placed in that group. We thank God, he is definitely good to me!! I have a title that actually sound impressive. And I am married now. No more women to impress. Pity. Speaking about being married.

End of year roasting!!!!!!

Man, i am really pissed today. I had my year end review and I think I got my ass lit on fire. There were too many areas to improve and less of what i was good at. God bless my boss though. I mean he could have really laid it into me. I tihnk he pretty much did. U know... I have not put my all into my work. I dunno why. I guess I am lazy I guess.

Man, what will it take for me to give a damn?? I tihnk I feel entittled to what I am getting right now. I feel I deserve more so I am rebelling by working as little as possible. Isn't that wierd?? Eve if I work hard and get to a salary level that I fell that I deserve. i would not be as happy. Man, I am a confused fellow. I should put up or get off. I mean, if I am beign undervalued then I should either work on getting to a better job.

Cuz I am wasting time if i am doing liek Ia m doing right now. I think If I put my all in the job.. I will be out of there in NO time. I know where I want to go. Dang, why does it take so much to get motivated??

Life without TV

ok, it has been 3 months since tv was cancelled in our lives here. I think it has been a good decision for us to do that. I think when my wife gets more money , we will not add cable back. I like having to talk to her and there is always the computer. albeit a geeky form of communication but still communication nonetheless.

ever tried cyber sex with ur wife sitting across from u on her computer?? I haven't done that before. I think I will do it tonight.. **evil grin**

Marriage is soo fragile..

sometimes I hear people talk about divorce and I shudder. I mean, this is crazy how 2 people who swore to be together til death, end it in 3 yrs. Why? How ? what happened. that is the stuff I wanna know about.

I wanna take someone who is divorced and figure out why it happened. what did she do? What did he do? Cuz I am scared of killing this thing I have hear with wifey. I mean, could I be starving her right now without knowing it?

I dunno. Divorce is soo prevalent yet none will tell me if I am headed in the right direction. I don't want to be a statistic.

How to talk to your spouse- dasugo style.

Mike, a friend of mine sent me this quick talka bout how to talk to your spouse. Stuff like listen with your face, emphatize and don't offer any suggestions, she just wants to talk e.tc e.tc. I know that stuff but it does irritate me some though. Why assail me for 20 minutes on some issues and expect no opinions from me?? Anyway, I created my response. part humor, part truth. I figure I will post it here if anyone ever sees it.

My list:
How to talk to your Husband:

1] Check the TV schedule: Attempting to discuss issues when your husband is about to watch Game 7 of NBA playoffs/wrestling/Fear factor/Queer eye for the Straight Guy (yeah right!!) is never a good idea.

2] Command his presence. Grab a hand or leg of his while talking to him. massage it gently as u speak. If his attentions starts to fade off, grip a toe or finger and bend it the wrong way slightly. His attention will return and u can return to massaging said appendage.

3] Give him soft ball questions if u really don't care what he thinks. Ask questions like " My boss is crazy to deny me some time off so u and I can have weekend long romp in an expensive hotel right?? "

4] Begin long talks with " I really need to talk to u about this issue and after wards, I expect you to make passionate love to me afterwards"

5] If you just want to vent and just want us to emphasize, unbutton ur blouse by 2 buttons. Give us something to focus on as we attempt to look interested.

6] Take us for a walk/drive. No TV, no computers, definitely No cell phones.

7] After talking to us, make an outrageous compliment about our manhood that we should never believe and insist that is it true for u. We might never believe it but our ego will. If I know that after listening to u, that u will tell me that I am sexiest man u have ever seen in your past 3 lives, I WILL listen.

8] Learn to talk during commercials.

9] Prepare a power point presentation. He just got back from work right?

God is silent right now..

I feel like a hypocrite but I am indeed confused. I feel like I have no rudder. Unsure of what or where I should turn . I don't know. I am scared to trying and failing. I rather hoard all my hope in a jar underneath my bed than waste it against the wall of disapproval. GOd, why? I don't understand. I wish i did. U have moved on my behalf when I have been in the height of sin. Why is it now that I am fighting off those chains that u are shutting me out?

Am trying to listen. i truly am.. talk to me. tell me what is up? I am not dealing with this doubt too well.

I think it is amazing how we humans can be though. here I am, certaint hat my wife is a gift from God questioning God when we dont have what we want WHEN we want it. The same God that created the incredible circumstance that brought me to her will tak ecare of me. He has got to.. otherwise I have been wasting my life here..

Good friends from days past.

In 1993, I left Nigeria to Europe and eventually ended up in the USA. I lost contact with a number of my friends but 2 guys I never forgot and that was biobele and toona. this year I found these guys. Bio is the US at Ohio State and Toona is still in nigeria, doing well. Toona suprised me by coming to the US for a visit. It was great to see him especially since we had not seen each other int he last 6 years and we just really picked up from where we were. that is a precious thing to have in a friend.

He really inspired me to do more in this life I have here plus he made actually think of going back home to Nigeria again. I guess I am somewhat disillusioned with my life here. I guess I am where I wanted to be at my age but it was great that Toona was able to give me positive news of Nigeria. We don't get muchgood news about home. I am glad to hear it anytime I get..

Reading Servant of the Shard...

Started another Salvatore book today.Servant of the Shard.. Looks promising..

F Paul Wilson writes a mean book too. Repairman Jack is one of the best finds I have had in a long time.

Didnt like the way Nightworld ended though.. too quickly.. rushed.

When oh when will Robert Jordan finish his Wheel of time series??? Dear God, he keeps going on and on and on...

Meal ticket anyone?? can't blame him.

i can see where marriage can be hard

issues that one has affecting each other. Resentment due to trials that another brought on the other. I need to be vigilant and fix problems before they escalate. No wonder money is the cause of so much divorce. We allow it to color so much of our lives..

Ghosts of Stupidity Past

I have this incredible ability to ignore what I don't want to see. It has served me well over the years and it keeps coming back to bite me in the ass. I mean why or why will I ignore a speeding ticket? Why will I not budget insurance into my expenses?? I don't know but I am still paying this up til this day and I hate myself for it.

I hate that such a weakness exists within me and I hate it that I have to show it to my wife. Makes no sense really. An objective look at myself show how foolhardy that mindset is. Yet, i adobted it.

So here I sit looking at a horrilbe bill for mistakes long past. I can't afford to pay this bill. I can't afford NOT to pay this bill. Well, I hope I can take care of all this by Tuesday next week. I guess I wil lhave to burn a vacation day while in the Texas court system. FUN!!!

I am freaking depressed. What a way to start the year. It is one thing to make an innocent mistake but making a guilty mistake and downright collosal. damn!! I am pissed at myself.