where those loose women that dig married men I hear about?

Where are those loose women that I hear so much about? The ones that go for married men like bees to honey?? I have seen nada. All I get are congrats, eeyahs and when did u guys get married??

No " I lust for forbidden man " stares
Nada on the ' quest for unavailable men" attitudes.
Nothing..

I am hurt.

There are some reasons I can come up with and I am sure all ur haters can come up with extra.

1] I am ugly: Obvious choice if you have not seen my face but I know I am not cuz chicks dug me before I got hitched and I have too many damn pics of myself to think that. I am an ok looking guy but definitely not ugly. Forget that..I am damn sexy!!!

2] Too Happily married: could that be possible? I was thinking that the ladies sense I am perfectly content with mine so they back off to find other more dissatisfied prey? I would hope not. U would think women like that would appreciate a challenge.

3] I don't get out as much: Personally, I think it is this one. If I don't frequent any hoochie haunts then I will not have to spray for said hoochies. That being said, does that mean that the man needs to look for these women? I mean, the way these chicks were portrayed. U would think u get married and soon after, u are fending off sex crazed single chicks determined on being the other woman.

Shoot, if the guy has to find them and feed them a sob story about how their wife doesn't understand them then the women are not to blame. Those idiot men are doing it all by themselves..

I wonder if there is a happy medium. Instead of going to the Hoochies Den, maybe I can find a spot where they occasion now and again. Something social with an aftertaste that attracts the hoochies. Maybe some snotty rich guy association like Habitat for Humanity. Hoochies go there right?? Or better yet, join a fraternity. Nothing like chilling with a bunch of horny college students to attract the non discriminatory hoochie.

I don't want to partake of the fruit of evil but I would like to see it offered to me. Of course, Adam made sure that the person that offers it will not be delectably nekkid (thanks Adam, punkass bitch) I do take heart at the fact that any hoochie prospects would be advertising the possibility of seeing said nekkidness in the immediate future. That is all I want. The offering.. Not the taking.

Nay sayers would point out that I am asking for trouble. Yes I am. I have all kinds of other trouble but I want this kind. I would be pleased as I dunno what if I could go home and tell wifey that some hoochie wanted to jump my sexy bones. I would provide exact details, names, addresses and work numbers if possible.

Nothing would please me more than to see wifey give me that " I want to cut a heifer stare" cuz if I play my cards right, I can get the angry competitive sex. Hopefully not before the prank cell calling and " leave my man alone bitch" speech.

The angry competive sex is gooood. She wants to leave u weak and tremblingon the bed and nothing is too far. Oh.. The possibilities and positions..

Dammit, I need a hoochie to improve my relationship. Where is help when u need it?