My parents are crazy and I blame my baby!!!

My parents are crazy and I blame my baby. That cute fragile of joy, love, poop and sleep bring the crazy out of parents. CRAZY!!!!! Parents treat their grandkids more protectively than they treat their kids and it freaking pisses me off!!

I mean, my mommy raised me in freaking Warri!! Mosquito ridden warri. Yeah I lived in Shell Camp but mosquitos full ground. Malaria everywhere.

No car seat, childproofing of homes and yet I don’t understand how I could have survived my first 2 months with the way doctors talk about taking children outside in the US! In the US, we have people that don’t let their children out of their apartments for 3 months cuz of the freaking germs outside. How do Nigerian babies survive with those terminator mosquitos out there??

The same mommy that took her 2 week child on an intl plane trip now thinks that taking my child out for a walk is dangerous. Let’s see. A sealed airborne tube of germ filled folks all stuck together for the next 15 hours breathing recycled air versus a walk outside a nice house?

You know how I know that parents are crazy? I made this argument and I was told that these are different times then. Obviously the germs in the 70s were nicer to their elders and didn’t talk about to them as well. **sigh*

It took me a while to not grind my teeth when my parents said stuff like”be careful with my child!!” as I carried her. Your child? Your child?

I didn't understand how much of a crossroads having a child is. All of a sudden, the notion of protecting my family becomes starkly evident. The realization that I can and Will lay ANYONE out if they do anything harmful to my children is suprising.

If my dad went nuts and tried to hurt my girl, he is getting dropkicked in the chest.
My mom? Clothesline off the turnbuckle.
Father in law? Super suplex with a DDT.
Mother in law? Figure 4 leg lock with... u get the picture right?

I don't know if there is a way to negotiate thru the expectations of parents without hurting feelings or worse.
There is something about a child that brings up all these desires for their grand child and they turn this very critical eye on their Grown Ass Children to see if they are up to the task of raising the new born.

God forbid, the G.A.C does, says, thinks or attempts something that they feel is NOT provider material.
God help you because it WILL happen, watch out!!

Never has a critical eye being placed on my financial situation like it has now that I am a father. I swear, I felt like I needed to submit a credit report to my parents and explain to them why I don’t have a perfect score and what made me think that I could bring a child into this world with this score??

Now, the big one is house work. Most Parents will arrive at a child house and declare it filthy and sparkle the hell out of it. When single, that stuff is freaking awesome. I truly recommend that u get your mom to come over and clean your apt and as soon as she leaves, you move out to a new one. That is the only way you will see any cents of that security deposit.

When married, it is a tad embarrassing especially if the parents blame your spouse for the current condition of the house. Usually they will blame me for my slovenly ways and spend their time cackling about how horrible picking up underwear is.

When married with child, it is a whole ball of wax. Every dust ball is a crime against humanity. Soiled laundries are indication to call Child protection Services and god forbid, dirty dishes stay for more than a day…

I can take most of this stuff because it is based out of a desperate love for my child. They mean well. They do. Thy have to carry and hold my kid for a short period of time before they have to go back to their lives elsewhere. Instead of holding on to my child when they want to take her from me, I should give her to them. I will have a lot more hugs than they will ever have in their lifetime plus they are old already. I need to see some things from their POV.

One thing did upset me soo much . I don’t know how else I should feel about it but when parents try to physically protect their grandkids from their parents, I see red. When they take it upon themselves that THEY know what is better for the child than I do. It is like their love has been tainted by the dark side.

I would make a Wheel of Time reference ( Saidar/saidin) but the geek police will taser me.

I love my parents but that is too much. You don’t get many opportunities to dropkick a father in the chest. Please don’t tempt me pops.

Why are Computers stil Slow???!!!!

I mean seriously!! We have Handheld devices that are currently faster than the Computers I used in College!

My Cell phone downloads pages off the internet faster than modems I used too.

I have seen 14.4 kbps Modems to 15 Megs downloads.

Pentium 150MHz to Pentium Quad Core 3GHz procs. 

Don't get me started on video card specs.

So.. WHY.. THE.. FREAK.. DOES IT.. TAKE.. MINUTES.. FOR FR..EAKING .. WINDOWS .. TO LOAD...???!!!!!!