Domestic abuse of the wierdest kind.

Coming home from an outing with the sister unit. Blues on the Green. Essentially, people gather at a big field and listen to blues whilst they sit, herd their spawn around (dog or tiny human), drink, smoke weed and listen to blues music.

Now I am no fan of blues. I will sit the rest of the world and nod intelligently when music is played but blues doesn't move me. I enjoy spending time with my sister. I think I am re-capturing a closeness of my siblings I have not had for a long time. Maybe we are all growing and realizing that family is important but my sister is the reason why I was there. But I digress, my outing with my sister was notwierd in any sense. Except the point where a friend tried to gross me out by sayign that she heard that my sister was very "tight". Noone needs to imagine their sister in any sexual way. I still have to suppress the initial 10 second KIll reflex when I meet a guy that might be interested.needless to say, I was not very happy about that statement. Thank God for alcohol.

Anyway, back to the end of the blues concert. We were driving home past a commercial area. SO no houses at sight right. We pass 2 people standing as if they are hitch hiking or waiting. As we past, my wife notices that the guy hanked the woman's hair and she dropped to the ground. Wifey is definitely some one that feels strongly against anything that smells of domestic violence so we spin around and come back for a better look.

Well, she was right. they were fighting.At least the woman seemed to be. Kicking and screaming et all. I was in the middle of a domestic incident in the middle of a strip mall. How did it get here? The womas is screaming that she should be left alone. The guy was proclaiming that she was his wife and they were going home..But wait.. it gets better!!! The man is built like a brick house. Pectorals the size of D cups. Pectorals without the muscule. The man was a freaking woman. I was witnessing a lesbo domestic incident!! Holy Candid Camera!! This can't be real!

The butch looking chick was proclaiming that the long haired ball of fisticffs struggling to get free was her wife. I almost retorted that it was not possible in Texas. Vermont or Massacusets maybe but not in the ATX. I didn't think that was wise.

Now, I asked wifey to call the cops and I wanted to see if I could stall them til the cops came. I opened my mouth and tried to get thier attention. The ball of fisticuffs forgot that she was resisting going away with her man/woman and turned on me. SHe had a mouth on her!! I was amazed. She was defending her "husband". I immediately felt sorry for all policemen that have to deal with these kind of situations. Although , I doubt they deal with these lesbo domestic situations as much as the usual penis vs vagina variety.

The couple left and drove off in a car. we gave the plates to the cops and went home. Wierd, i tell u. Wierd. I thot these lesbians were more civilized than the heteros. hmm...

Superman returns review

Got a couple tinglings in my naughty bits when Supes fly around in the movie. defintely not gay though. I had my hand on my wifey's breaticles when that happened so it cancels out. The story was ok.. Lots of emotion and lovey dovey, stalker shit. Yes, Superman is a stalker but anyone with X ray vision will sucuumb to the dark side.. It is inevitable.

I am hoping forr Pirates of the caribeean to redeem this summer but then again it IS the Summer. When else do movie goers get more disappointed??

CNN movie reviews

it freaking annoys me how spoiler ridden their reviews are. I mean by the time u read all the info, u know the plot tiwsts e.t.c it spoils the movie for u. Another thing is that I can't remember the last awesome review they gave a movie. Now granted, movies quality has been in the toilet recently.

Exhibit A:


but i get the feeling that CNN only gives bad reviews to movies. Honestly, the more I write, I don't Mind the bad reviews. i just wish they would give spoiler free reviews. I would like a chance to find out for myself. All i know about Superman returns is that he returns and Lex luthor looks deliciously evil. (thank you Spacey)

Am going to see it on Thursday with my wife and sister. I hope it is fun!

Now back to Little MAn.. WHAT the F**K??!!!!if the bar wasn't dropped so low by Soul Plane, i would be bemoaning the efforts of African American men. This looks terrible from the get go. they must be operating on a tight budget to break even on this. video sales maybe??

BTW, who green lit Dr Doolittle 3???

Work has been crappy lately.

Man, i have not had a good time at work recently. For the longest time, I have come out of the office looking tired. i mean, i know some people have exhausting jobs but I have not had one like that ina while. Not physically tired. just mentally. Making me doubt how good I man.

I am getting a fight or flight reaction though but I gotta believe that what I have now is better than where I was before.

Pisses me off cuz I get this vision of being tired from work and wifey is tired from work and we just snap at each other. God please let me be strong enuf to see that and do something about it.

Don't call me well trained...

I hate being referred to as well trained by married women. Especially by a bunch of married women that think it is their right to be condescending since they currently outnumber me. That ish pisses me off. I mean I am not an idiot. I love my wife and she is great to me. Phenomenal to me.

It makes sense to want to reciprocate. The way I look at it, the more stuff I do for her, the better for me. Like my boy jesus says, If you want the Blow Job train to keep making regular stops at your station, u had better maintain the tracks and concessions at your station!! I mean really.. Does that mean I am being trained???

I went from a subway sandwich meal being the most balanced meal I ate to 3 course dinners. No chicks to constantly available hot chick wearing as little clothing as possible. I went from throwing a shirt, shoes and sorts for a trip to getting an entire damn suitcase packed for me with any shit I might need ready to go. I am not well trained, I am freaking blessed. Nice tits, nice bod, raging libido, sense of humor and intelligence to boot. I mean the chick loves kungfu movies.. Kungfu!!!!!!!!

My chick can kick ur chicks ass anyday. Pick a category.

Cooking? Ur ass is cooked. She throws down.
Looks- I got pics negro. I have that ish on lock. If urs is better. I bet she isn't natural. Mine is..

Sports lover- She WANTS to watch playoffs and football with me. DO u hear me?? SHE WANTS to watch it. No the pansy ass, sit with him to spend time with me nonsense that some women throw out to make themselves look good. She watches it with ME!!

Sex- dat's personal but trust me…. I am kicking ur ass in this area as well. maybe while u are reading this too..

I am not well trained. I am well blessed. If I do things for her, I do it cuz I am not a fool and I like a good thing to go as long as humanly possibly.

Speaking of which I hear a train approaching… Hmmm..

where those loose women that dig married men I hear about?

Where are those loose women that I hear so much about? The ones that go for married men like bees to honey?? I have seen nada. All I get are congrats, eeyahs and when did u guys get married??

No " I lust for forbidden man " stares
Nada on the ' quest for unavailable men" attitudes.
Nothing..

I am hurt.

There are some reasons I can come up with and I am sure all ur haters can come up with extra.

1] I am ugly: Obvious choice if you have not seen my face but I know I am not cuz chicks dug me before I got hitched and I have too many damn pics of myself to think that. I am an ok looking guy but definitely not ugly. Forget that..I am damn sexy!!!

2] Too Happily married: could that be possible? I was thinking that the ladies sense I am perfectly content with mine so they back off to find other more dissatisfied prey? I would hope not. U would think women like that would appreciate a challenge.

3] I don't get out as much: Personally, I think it is this one. If I don't frequent any hoochie haunts then I will not have to spray for said hoochies. That being said, does that mean that the man needs to look for these women? I mean, the way these chicks were portrayed. U would think u get married and soon after, u are fending off sex crazed single chicks determined on being the other woman.

Shoot, if the guy has to find them and feed them a sob story about how their wife doesn't understand them then the women are not to blame. Those idiot men are doing it all by themselves..

I wonder if there is a happy medium. Instead of going to the Hoochies Den, maybe I can find a spot where they occasion now and again. Something social with an aftertaste that attracts the hoochies. Maybe some snotty rich guy association like Habitat for Humanity. Hoochies go there right?? Or better yet, join a fraternity. Nothing like chilling with a bunch of horny college students to attract the non discriminatory hoochie.

I don't want to partake of the fruit of evil but I would like to see it offered to me. Of course, Adam made sure that the person that offers it will not be delectably nekkid (thanks Adam, punkass bitch) I do take heart at the fact that any hoochie prospects would be advertising the possibility of seeing said nekkidness in the immediate future. That is all I want. The offering.. Not the taking.

Nay sayers would point out that I am asking for trouble. Yes I am. I have all kinds of other trouble but I want this kind. I would be pleased as I dunno what if I could go home and tell wifey that some hoochie wanted to jump my sexy bones. I would provide exact details, names, addresses and work numbers if possible.

Nothing would please me more than to see wifey give me that " I want to cut a heifer stare" cuz if I play my cards right, I can get the angry competitive sex. Hopefully not before the prank cell calling and " leave my man alone bitch" speech.

The angry competive sex is gooood. She wants to leave u weak and tremblingon the bed and nothing is too far. Oh.. The possibilities and positions..

Dammit, I need a hoochie to improve my relationship. Where is help when u need it?

1 job review and 2 promotions later!!!!!

I was about to post a little spiel I was inspired to write. I looked at the last post I made. I had to make an update of what has happened since. Last blog, My boss told me I was coasting in my job. In essence, no big raise, just a little something extra. With the price of gas it is , it doesn't make a difference.

I was steamed as u might read but I am soo different from that guy on that time. Maybe this blog thing is not so bad. I should schedule a weekly update cuz there is NO way I can do a daily blog. My life isn't that interesting.

Anyway, I had gone on an informational interview in a group at the Enterprise side of my job. I was looking for information. Nothing more. Next thing I know, I was being interviewed. Soon after, I was offered a job. Now 2 weeks after that ass roasting known as a job review, I get an offer for a job on a higher job level plus bump in pay!!! Awesome! I am also moving into a Enterprise which I wanted to. Praise God. Can u imagine the turn of fortunes?
But wait, it gets better, within 2 weeks of being in this job, we get folded into another group known as the EFE TAMs. Now the TAMs are a job I was aspiring to. Now I get placed in that group. We thank God, he is definitely good to me!! I have a title that actually sound impressive. And I am married now. No more women to impress. Pity. Speaking about being married.

End of year roasting!!!!!!

Man, i am really pissed today. I had my year end review and I think I got my ass lit on fire. There were too many areas to improve and less of what i was good at. God bless my boss though. I mean he could have really laid it into me. I tihnk he pretty much did. U know... I have not put my all into my work. I dunno why. I guess I am lazy I guess.

Man, what will it take for me to give a damn?? I tihnk I feel entittled to what I am getting right now. I feel I deserve more so I am rebelling by working as little as possible. Isn't that wierd?? Eve if I work hard and get to a salary level that I fell that I deserve. i would not be as happy. Man, I am a confused fellow. I should put up or get off. I mean, if I am beign undervalued then I should either work on getting to a better job.

Cuz I am wasting time if i am doing liek Ia m doing right now. I think If I put my all in the job.. I will be out of there in NO time. I know where I want to go. Dang, why does it take so much to get motivated??

Life without TV

ok, it has been 3 months since tv was cancelled in our lives here. I think it has been a good decision for us to do that. I think when my wife gets more money , we will not add cable back. I like having to talk to her and there is always the computer. albeit a geeky form of communication but still communication nonetheless.

ever tried cyber sex with ur wife sitting across from u on her computer?? I haven't done that before. I think I will do it tonight.. **evil grin**

Marriage is soo fragile..

sometimes I hear people talk about divorce and I shudder. I mean, this is crazy how 2 people who swore to be together til death, end it in 3 yrs. Why? How ? what happened. that is the stuff I wanna know about.

I wanna take someone who is divorced and figure out why it happened. what did she do? What did he do? Cuz I am scared of killing this thing I have hear with wifey. I mean, could I be starving her right now without knowing it?

I dunno. Divorce is soo prevalent yet none will tell me if I am headed in the right direction. I don't want to be a statistic.

How to talk to your spouse- dasugo style.

Mike, a friend of mine sent me this quick talka bout how to talk to your spouse. Stuff like listen with your face, emphatize and don't offer any suggestions, she just wants to talk e.tc e.tc. I know that stuff but it does irritate me some though. Why assail me for 20 minutes on some issues and expect no opinions from me?? Anyway, I created my response. part humor, part truth. I figure I will post it here if anyone ever sees it.

My list:
How to talk to your Husband:

1] Check the TV schedule: Attempting to discuss issues when your husband is about to watch Game 7 of NBA playoffs/wrestling/Fear factor/Queer eye for the Straight Guy (yeah right!!) is never a good idea.

2] Command his presence. Grab a hand or leg of his while talking to him. massage it gently as u speak. If his attentions starts to fade off, grip a toe or finger and bend it the wrong way slightly. His attention will return and u can return to massaging said appendage.

3] Give him soft ball questions if u really don't care what he thinks. Ask questions like " My boss is crazy to deny me some time off so u and I can have weekend long romp in an expensive hotel right?? "

4] Begin long talks with " I really need to talk to u about this issue and after wards, I expect you to make passionate love to me afterwards"

5] If you just want to vent and just want us to emphasize, unbutton ur blouse by 2 buttons. Give us something to focus on as we attempt to look interested.

6] Take us for a walk/drive. No TV, no computers, definitely No cell phones.

7] After talking to us, make an outrageous compliment about our manhood that we should never believe and insist that is it true for u. We might never believe it but our ego will. If I know that after listening to u, that u will tell me that I am sexiest man u have ever seen in your past 3 lives, I WILL listen.

8] Learn to talk during commercials.

9] Prepare a power point presentation. He just got back from work right?

God is silent right now..

I feel like a hypocrite but I am indeed confused. I feel like I have no rudder. Unsure of what or where I should turn . I don't know. I am scared to trying and failing. I rather hoard all my hope in a jar underneath my bed than waste it against the wall of disapproval. GOd, why? I don't understand. I wish i did. U have moved on my behalf when I have been in the height of sin. Why is it now that I am fighting off those chains that u are shutting me out?

Am trying to listen. i truly am.. talk to me. tell me what is up? I am not dealing with this doubt too well.

I think it is amazing how we humans can be though. here I am, certaint hat my wife is a gift from God questioning God when we dont have what we want WHEN we want it. The same God that created the incredible circumstance that brought me to her will tak ecare of me. He has got to.. otherwise I have been wasting my life here..

Good friends from days past.

In 1993, I left Nigeria to Europe and eventually ended up in the USA. I lost contact with a number of my friends but 2 guys I never forgot and that was biobele and toona. this year I found these guys. Bio is the US at Ohio State and Toona is still in nigeria, doing well. Toona suprised me by coming to the US for a visit. It was great to see him especially since we had not seen each other int he last 6 years and we just really picked up from where we were. that is a precious thing to have in a friend.

He really inspired me to do more in this life I have here plus he made actually think of going back home to Nigeria again. I guess I am somewhat disillusioned with my life here. I guess I am where I wanted to be at my age but it was great that Toona was able to give me positive news of Nigeria. We don't get muchgood news about home. I am glad to hear it anytime I get..

Reading Servant of the Shard...

Started another Salvatore book today.Servant of the Shard.. Looks promising..

F Paul Wilson writes a mean book too. Repairman Jack is one of the best finds I have had in a long time.

Didnt like the way Nightworld ended though.. too quickly.. rushed.

When oh when will Robert Jordan finish his Wheel of time series??? Dear God, he keeps going on and on and on...

Meal ticket anyone?? can't blame him.

i can see where marriage can be hard

issues that one has affecting each other. Resentment due to trials that another brought on the other. I need to be vigilant and fix problems before they escalate. No wonder money is the cause of so much divorce. We allow it to color so much of our lives..

Ghosts of Stupidity Past

I have this incredible ability to ignore what I don't want to see. It has served me well over the years and it keeps coming back to bite me in the ass. I mean why or why will I ignore a speeding ticket? Why will I not budget insurance into my expenses?? I don't know but I am still paying this up til this day and I hate myself for it.

I hate that such a weakness exists within me and I hate it that I have to show it to my wife. Makes no sense really. An objective look at myself show how foolhardy that mindset is. Yet, i adobted it.

So here I sit looking at a horrilbe bill for mistakes long past. I can't afford to pay this bill. I can't afford NOT to pay this bill. Well, I hope I can take care of all this by Tuesday next week. I guess I wil lhave to burn a vacation day while in the Texas court system. FUN!!!

I am freaking depressed. What a way to start the year. It is one thing to make an innocent mistake but making a guilty mistake and downright collosal. damn!! I am pissed at myself.

Rules of engagement

I read a lot of online posts by women that decry how men are just idiots and can't pick up blatant signals. Never mind that could be true but i honestly believe that women give us men signs that make absolutely NO sense Now but make SOOO much more sense when the situation has passed.. Of course, it could be true but THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT!!

Anyway, I wrote this a long time and one relationship ago. I think it was birthed from some many women bemoaning men and their behaviors. Personally, I think women want to eat their cake and have it too... Someone might think that I am bitter when I wrote this. Hoenstly I don't remember,i think I struck gold with my spousal unit but like I said, i don't emember when I started writing this. I spruced it up a lil bit but I felt the need to throw it online so if the world choose to... they would do so.

Ladies, u have the right to change your mind or heart concerning a person at any time u wish HOWever,

• Know thyself. Why would a man downgrade a non exclusive relationship with full benefits to an exclusive relationship?? It IS a downgrade for him. You want him to go from no name liability to ALL State Super Progressive Super Comprehensive and smile about it?? And the answer is “No!! Sometimes your ass isn't worth it".
  
  


• Do not strip a relationship of it's inherent responsibilities and protocol to get with a man and expect him to take them on at YOUR desire. That is called Foolishness. If you are sleeping with him, coming over to his place, cooking for him and U STILL DON’T know where u 2 are going….. Guess who is the idiot??
  
  
  
• Forget what u heard. Approaching a man outright is not in your best interest. Encouraging him to approach you by smiling and being a friendly person will work wonders. This is not gospel though.
  
  
• Some men Like direct women. Some men also like to wear women’s underwear so BE Careful.
  
  
• If you think men don't approach you because are a strong intimidating black woman, Newsflash, they don't holla because u look like u have explosive diarrhea and need to go to the restroom at any time. Try being feminine.. it works wonders. Don’t get me twisted. I don’t mean wear dresses, giggle and lose the ability to change a car tire. I mean, don’t hide what you are. If you like cars and basketball and wearing overalls.. great!!! Now go out with the guys with a nice top and some sexy jeans and you will notice a difference.
  
  
• Note: If you are above 200lbs and below 5ft 11, results may vary.
  
  
• Ladies, it is a human trait to do the same thing over and over again in relationships. Guys do it as well.
  
  
• If you have a string of bad relationships. Quit whining and start analyzing what you desire in a mate. Look at all those dogs that you let in your life and find out why your ass is left with a broken heart and a bawling child (god forbid). Figure out what you are doing wrong and stop doing it.
• Guys, quit that weak nice guy act.. Ask her out. Put some bass in your voice and do it. The reason you keep finding yourself trapped in the friends zone isn’t the girl. It is you. Fix that.
• How many times have you broken up with a idiot and your people all ask u what the f**k were u thinking when u went out with said idiot?? Here is an idea… Ask your real friends to be brutally honest about your current flame.. Some might have some wisdom for u. Oh yeah, ask them EARLY IN A RELATIONSHIP. This is also a quick way to discover the Haters in your circle.
• If you want to know how a man might be later in life. Take a good look at his relationship with his father. You scared?? Then, why the hell do u think he is scared to meet YOUR mother???
• A man NEEDS TO RISK SOMETHING IN a relationship. He has got to risk his heart, put himself out there without knowing the outcome. If a lady just allows any fellow in, why do you expect him to keep the place tidy??
• QUIT bitching about the lack of good men. You need only ONE. One of out of all those men there. ONLY one. All you got to do is be the kind of person that attracts the man you want. See? It is not all their fault.
• Listen to your parents. If u are lucky enough to have 2 good ones.. Heck, one decent parent can make sure you don’t make the same mistakes. Why would you think that they don't know the danger signs better than you do??
• My pet peeve. You want a spiritual man. What the hell is a Spiritual man?? What spirits? Who is he spiritual to? When are they spiritual?? Stop the vague descriptions of your man. Be specific. If u want a Christian. Ask for one that sticks with the principles. If you want to duck and weave in between the rules of the Koran,Bible and any other religion manual... be honest. If you wants a guy that faithfully goes to church every Easter and Christmas. Say so. Be real with yourself.
• All men are dogs?? I am not surprised that because there has to be a lot of dogs to handle all the bitching going on. You don't want a dog? Quit your bitching.
• Most Important. Listen.. Listen to your freaking inner spirit. Cultivate the hearing for it.. Listen to it. Meditate on your life and ask yourself the hard questions in a relationship?
• Am I getting ALL I want in this??
• Does s/he want to be with only me?
• Has he told me how he feels about me WITHOUT my prompting?
• Am I in love with him?
• Does he love me?

Kids.. and therein desire for them

Talked with the spousal unit today concerning kids. I didn't realize how much I had some reservations about having kids. I think most of it stems from my insecurity of being a burden from my parents.. I mean my parents were great, Super but sometime is feel that they struggled more than enjoyed their children. Man, I dunno.. Maybe I am just apprehensive. I don't know why many Naija families immediately start having kids immediately. i mean, they just started a marriage!!! Why mess it up with an attention hogging broodling that announces it's newest load by a piercing scream? I mean not immediately. I want kids but not now..

is that so bad?? them suckas are expensive!!!!

BTW, i would like to say that my wife is Xmas crazy. She has a tree and is throwing lights on it.. I am soo not used to the whole full on Xmas ensemble. This will take some getting used to. But I can get used to it. I mean it is not like she bought the tree from Gucci.

My wife is strangely fascinated about my blog.

I got nothing on here that will cause her to be interested. But denying her the priveledge seems to be more fun than actually allowing her to read it. I am indeed evil.

My wife and I - glamor shots

segxy!!!!! Well, I have not touched this blog in forever.. A lot has happened in a while. I got married to the most wonderful woman in the world. 2005 has been a whirlwind for me. I got married and now have a wife that doesn't intend to leave me forever.. scary huh? I will post a pic as soon as possible.

In fact,I shall invoke Picasa to send the blog a picture of myself and said wife!!! enjoy!!