Sunday, December 11, 2005

Rules of engagement

I read a lot of online posts by women that decry how men are just idiots and can't pick up blatant signals. Never mind that could be true but i honestly believe that women give us men signs that make absolutely NO sense Now but make SOOO much more sense when the situation has passed.. Of course, it could be true but THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT!!

Anyway, I wrote this a long time and one relationship ago. I think it was birthed from some many women bemoaning men and their behaviors. Personally, I think women want to eat their cake and have it too... Someone might think that I am bitter when I wrote this. Hoenstly I don't remember,i think I struck gold with my spousal unit but like I said, i don't emember when I started writing this. I spruced it up a lil bit but I felt the need to throw it online so if the world choose to... they would do so.

Ladies, u have the right to change your mind or heart concerning a person at any time u wish HOWever,


  • Know thyself. Why would a man downgrade a non exclusive relationship with full benefits to an exclusive relationship?? It IS a downgrade for him. You want him to go from no name liability to ALL State Super Progressive Super Comprehensive and smile about it?? And the answer is “No!! Sometimes your ass isn't worth it".


  • Do not strip a relationship of it's inherent responsibilities and protocol to get with a man and expect him to take them on at YOUR desire. That is called Foolishness. If you are sleeping with him, coming over to his place, cooking for him and U STILL DON’T know where u 2 are going….. Guess who is the idiot??


  • Forget what u heard. Approaching a man outright is not in your best interest. Encouraging him to approach you by smiling and being a friendly person will work wonders. This is not gospel though.

  • Some men Like direct women. Some men also like to wear women’s underwear so BE Careful.

  • If you think men don't approach you because are a strong intimidating black woman, Newsflash, they don't holla because u look like u have explosive diarrhea and need to go to the restroom at any time. Try being feminine.. it works wonders. Don’t get me twisted. I don’t mean wear dresses, giggle and lose the ability to change a car tire. I mean, don’t hide what you are. If you like cars and basketball and wearing overalls.. great!!! Now go out with the guys with a nice top and some sexy jeans and you will notice a difference.

  • Note: If you are above 200lbs and below 5ft 11, results may vary.

  • Ladies, it is a human trait to do the same thing over and over again in relationships. Guys do it as well.

  • If you have a string of bad relationships. Quit whining and start analyzing what you desire in a mate. Look at all those dogs that you let in your life and find out why your ass is left with a broken heart and a bawling child (god forbid). Figure out what you are doing wrong and stop doing it.
  • Guys, quit that weak nice guy act.. Ask her out. Put some bass in your voice and do it. The reason you keep finding yourself trapped in the friends zone isn’t the girl. It is you. Fix that.
  • How many times have you broken up with a idiot and your people all ask u what the f**k were u thinking when u went out with said idiot?? Here is an idea… Ask your real friends to be brutally honest about your current flame.. Some might have some wisdom for u. Oh yeah, ask them EARLY IN A RELATIONSHIP. This is also a quick way to discover the Haters in your circle.
  • If you want to know how a man might be later in life. Take a good look at his relationship with his father. You scared?? Then, why the hell do u think he is scared to meet YOUR mother???
  • A man NEEDS TO RISK SOMETHING IN a relationship. He has got to risk his heart, put himself out there without knowing the outcome. If a lady just allows any fellow in, why do you expect him to keep the place tidy??
  • QUIT bitching about the lack of good men. You need only ONE. One of out of all those men there. ONLY one. All you got to do is be the kind of person that attracts the man you want. See? It is not all their fault.
  • Listen to your parents. If u are lucky enough to have 2 good ones.. Heck, one decent parent can make sure you don’t make the same mistakes. Why would you think that they don't know the danger signs better than you do??
  • My pet peeve. You want a spiritual man. What the hell is a Spiritual man?? What spirits? Who is he spiritual to? When are they spiritual?? Stop the vague descriptions of your man. Be specific. If u want a Christian. Ask for one that sticks with the principles. If you want to duck and weave in between the rules of the Koran,Bible and any other religion manual... be honest. If you wants a guy that faithfully goes to church every Easter and Christmas. Say so. Be real with yourself.
  • All men are dogs?? I am not surprised that because there has to be a lot of dogs to handle all the bitching going on. You don't want a dog? Quit your bitching.
  • Most Important. Listen.. Listen to your freaking inner spirit. Cultivate the hearing for it.. Listen to it. Meditate on your life and ask yourself the hard questions in a relationship?
  • Am I getting ALL I want in this??
  • Does s/he want to be with only me?
  • Has he told me how he feels about me WITHOUT my prompting?
  • Am I in love with him?
  • Does he love me?

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