How to talk to your spouse- dasugo style.

Mike, a friend of mine sent me this quick talka bout how to talk to your spouse. Stuff like listen with your face, emphatize and don't offer any suggestions, she just wants to talk e.tc e.tc. I know that stuff but it does irritate me some though. Why assail me for 20 minutes on some issues and expect no opinions from me?? Anyway, I created my response. part humor, part truth. I figure I will post it here if anyone ever sees it.

My list:
How to talk to your Husband:

1] Check the TV schedule: Attempting to discuss issues when your husband is about to watch Game 7 of NBA playoffs/wrestling/Fear factor/Queer eye for the Straight Guy (yeah right!!) is never a good idea.

2] Command his presence. Grab a hand or leg of his while talking to him. massage it gently as u speak. If his attentions starts to fade off, grip a toe or finger and bend it the wrong way slightly. His attention will return and u can return to massaging said appendage.

3] Give him soft ball questions if u really don't care what he thinks. Ask questions like " My boss is crazy to deny me some time off so u and I can have weekend long romp in an expensive hotel right?? "

4] Begin long talks with " I really need to talk to u about this issue and after wards, I expect you to make passionate love to me afterwards"

5] If you just want to vent and just want us to emphasize, unbutton ur blouse by 2 buttons. Give us something to focus on as we attempt to look interested.

6] Take us for a walk/drive. No TV, no computers, definitely No cell phones.

7] After talking to us, make an outrageous compliment about our manhood that we should never believe and insist that is it true for u. We might never believe it but our ego will. If I know that after listening to u, that u will tell me that I am sexiest man u have ever seen in your past 3 lives, I WILL listen.

8] Learn to talk during commercials.

9] Prepare a power point presentation. He just got back from work right?

God is silent right now..

I feel like a hypocrite but I am indeed confused. I feel like I have no rudder. Unsure of what or where I should turn . I don't know. I am scared to trying and failing. I rather hoard all my hope in a jar underneath my bed than waste it against the wall of disapproval. GOd, why? I don't understand. I wish i did. U have moved on my behalf when I have been in the height of sin. Why is it now that I am fighting off those chains that u are shutting me out?

Am trying to listen. i truly am.. talk to me. tell me what is up? I am not dealing with this doubt too well.

I think it is amazing how we humans can be though. here I am, certaint hat my wife is a gift from God questioning God when we dont have what we want WHEN we want it. The same God that created the incredible circumstance that brought me to her will tak ecare of me. He has got to.. otherwise I have been wasting my life here..

Good friends from days past.

In 1993, I left Nigeria to Europe and eventually ended up in the USA. I lost contact with a number of my friends but 2 guys I never forgot and that was biobele and toona. this year I found these guys. Bio is the US at Ohio State and Toona is still in nigeria, doing well. Toona suprised me by coming to the US for a visit. It was great to see him especially since we had not seen each other int he last 6 years and we just really picked up from where we were. that is a precious thing to have in a friend.

He really inspired me to do more in this life I have here plus he made actually think of going back home to Nigeria again. I guess I am somewhat disillusioned with my life here. I guess I am where I wanted to be at my age but it was great that Toona was able to give me positive news of Nigeria. We don't get muchgood news about home. I am glad to hear it anytime I get..

Reading Servant of the Shard...

Started another Salvatore book today.Servant of the Shard.. Looks promising..

F Paul Wilson writes a mean book too. Repairman Jack is one of the best finds I have had in a long time.

Didnt like the way Nightworld ended though.. too quickly.. rushed.

When oh when will Robert Jordan finish his Wheel of time series??? Dear God, he keeps going on and on and on...

Meal ticket anyone?? can't blame him.

i can see where marriage can be hard

issues that one has affecting each other. Resentment due to trials that another brought on the other. I need to be vigilant and fix problems before they escalate. No wonder money is the cause of so much divorce. We allow it to color so much of our lives..

Ghosts of Stupidity Past

I have this incredible ability to ignore what I don't want to see. It has served me well over the years and it keeps coming back to bite me in the ass. I mean why or why will I ignore a speeding ticket? Why will I not budget insurance into my expenses?? I don't know but I am still paying this up til this day and I hate myself for it.

I hate that such a weakness exists within me and I hate it that I have to show it to my wife. Makes no sense really. An objective look at myself show how foolhardy that mindset is. Yet, i adobted it.

So here I sit looking at a horrilbe bill for mistakes long past. I can't afford to pay this bill. I can't afford NOT to pay this bill. Well, I hope I can take care of all this by Tuesday next week. I guess I wil lhave to burn a vacation day while in the Texas court system. FUN!!!

I am freaking depressed. What a way to start the year. It is one thing to make an innocent mistake but making a guilty mistake and downright collosal. damn!! I am pissed at myself.

Rules of engagement

I read a lot of online posts by women that decry how men are just idiots and can't pick up blatant signals. Never mind that could be true but i honestly believe that women give us men signs that make absolutely NO sense Now but make SOOO much more sense when the situation has passed.. Of course, it could be true but THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT!!

Anyway, I wrote this a long time and one relationship ago. I think it was birthed from some many women bemoaning men and their behaviors. Personally, I think women want to eat their cake and have it too... Someone might think that I am bitter when I wrote this. Hoenstly I don't remember,i think I struck gold with my spousal unit but like I said, i don't emember when I started writing this. I spruced it up a lil bit but I felt the need to throw it online so if the world choose to... they would do so.

Ladies, u have the right to change your mind or heart concerning a person at any time u wish HOWever,

• Know thyself. Why would a man downgrade a non exclusive relationship with full benefits to an exclusive relationship?? It IS a downgrade for him. You want him to go from no name liability to ALL State Super Progressive Super Comprehensive and smile about it?? And the answer is “No!! Sometimes your ass isn't worth it".
  
  


• Do not strip a relationship of it's inherent responsibilities and protocol to get with a man and expect him to take them on at YOUR desire. That is called Foolishness. If you are sleeping with him, coming over to his place, cooking for him and U STILL DON’T know where u 2 are going….. Guess who is the idiot??
  
  
  
• Forget what u heard. Approaching a man outright is not in your best interest. Encouraging him to approach you by smiling and being a friendly person will work wonders. This is not gospel though.
  
  
• Some men Like direct women. Some men also like to wear women’s underwear so BE Careful.
  
  
• If you think men don't approach you because are a strong intimidating black woman, Newsflash, they don't holla because u look like u have explosive diarrhea and need to go to the restroom at any time. Try being feminine.. it works wonders. Don’t get me twisted. I don’t mean wear dresses, giggle and lose the ability to change a car tire. I mean, don’t hide what you are. If you like cars and basketball and wearing overalls.. great!!! Now go out with the guys with a nice top and some sexy jeans and you will notice a difference.
  
  
• Note: If you are above 200lbs and below 5ft 11, results may vary.
  
  
• Ladies, it is a human trait to do the same thing over and over again in relationships. Guys do it as well.
  
  
• If you have a string of bad relationships. Quit whining and start analyzing what you desire in a mate. Look at all those dogs that you let in your life and find out why your ass is left with a broken heart and a bawling child (god forbid). Figure out what you are doing wrong and stop doing it.
• Guys, quit that weak nice guy act.. Ask her out. Put some bass in your voice and do it. The reason you keep finding yourself trapped in the friends zone isn’t the girl. It is you. Fix that.
• How many times have you broken up with a idiot and your people all ask u what the f**k were u thinking when u went out with said idiot?? Here is an idea… Ask your real friends to be brutally honest about your current flame.. Some might have some wisdom for u. Oh yeah, ask them EARLY IN A RELATIONSHIP. This is also a quick way to discover the Haters in your circle.
• If you want to know how a man might be later in life. Take a good look at his relationship with his father. You scared?? Then, why the hell do u think he is scared to meet YOUR mother???
• A man NEEDS TO RISK SOMETHING IN a relationship. He has got to risk his heart, put himself out there without knowing the outcome. If a lady just allows any fellow in, why do you expect him to keep the place tidy??
• QUIT bitching about the lack of good men. You need only ONE. One of out of all those men there. ONLY one. All you got to do is be the kind of person that attracts the man you want. See? It is not all their fault.
• Listen to your parents. If u are lucky enough to have 2 good ones.. Heck, one decent parent can make sure you don’t make the same mistakes. Why would you think that they don't know the danger signs better than you do??
• My pet peeve. You want a spiritual man. What the hell is a Spiritual man?? What spirits? Who is he spiritual to? When are they spiritual?? Stop the vague descriptions of your man. Be specific. If u want a Christian. Ask for one that sticks with the principles. If you want to duck and weave in between the rules of the Koran,Bible and any other religion manual... be honest. If you wants a guy that faithfully goes to church every Easter and Christmas. Say so. Be real with yourself.
• All men are dogs?? I am not surprised that because there has to be a lot of dogs to handle all the bitching going on. You don't want a dog? Quit your bitching.
• Most Important. Listen.. Listen to your freaking inner spirit. Cultivate the hearing for it.. Listen to it. Meditate on your life and ask yourself the hard questions in a relationship?
• Am I getting ALL I want in this??
• Does s/he want to be with only me?
• Has he told me how he feels about me WITHOUT my prompting?
• Am I in love with him?
• Does he love me?

Kids.. and therein desire for them

Talked with the spousal unit today concerning kids. I didn't realize how much I had some reservations about having kids. I think most of it stems from my insecurity of being a burden from my parents.. I mean my parents were great, Super but sometime is feel that they struggled more than enjoyed their children. Man, I dunno.. Maybe I am just apprehensive. I don't know why many Naija families immediately start having kids immediately. i mean, they just started a marriage!!! Why mess it up with an attention hogging broodling that announces it's newest load by a piercing scream? I mean not immediately. I want kids but not now..

is that so bad?? them suckas are expensive!!!!

BTW, i would like to say that my wife is Xmas crazy. She has a tree and is throwing lights on it.. I am soo not used to the whole full on Xmas ensemble. This will take some getting used to. But I can get used to it. I mean it is not like she bought the tree from Gucci.

My wife is strangely fascinated about my blog.

I got nothing on here that will cause her to be interested. But denying her the priveledge seems to be more fun than actually allowing her to read it. I am indeed evil.

My wife and I - glamor shots

segxy!!!!! Well, I have not touched this blog in forever.. A lot has happened in a while. I got married to the most wonderful woman in the world. 2005 has been a whirlwind for me. I got married and now have a wife that doesn't intend to leave me forever.. scary huh? I will post a pic as soon as possible.

In fact,I shall invoke Picasa to send the blog a picture of myself and said wife!!! enjoy!!

Woohoo!!! I can access this at work!!!!

R.A Salvatore kicks ass. the Highway man was a pretty good story!! I really got into it. the ending was kinda rushed and didn't feel like the bad guy was as bad as he seemed to be but I hope it is the beginning of a long tale. He is soo precise in describing how ass gets kicked, it is fun to imagine. A tad too detailed but I will never decry a man for intricating the means to break a windpipe. then again, it could be the obvious martial arts similarities that I dig..

Dang. I got gas today... GLad no one is around.. to smell it!!!!!

Genesis

It is certainly amazing to see how easy to create a blog these days. Took me all of 3 minutes. Now the question is whether I want this blog to divulge my deepest darkest secrets or will this be whimiscal way to do " hey look at me!!" thing.

Here is a question what is the effect of a blog unread by anyone other than the artist??? I think this will evolve into what it is supposed to be.

My name is Dasugo. I am a 27 yr old man and I have found true love. WHat on earth did I do to deserve such a find?? just blessed i guess.