Why are Computers stil Slow???!!!!

I mean seriously!! We have Handheld devices that are currently faster than the Computers I used in College!

My Cell phone downloads pages off the internet faster than modems I used too.

I have seen 14.4 kbps Modems to 15 Megs downloads.

Pentium 150MHz to Pentium Quad Core 3GHz procs. 

Don't get me started on video card specs.

So.. WHY.. THE.. FREAK.. DOES IT.. TAKE.. MINUTES.. FOR FR..EAKING .. WINDOWS .. TO LOAD...???!!!!!!

My fears of a Father

My biggest fear as a father isn't the loss of Anytime any place in the house Quickies although I fear that loss as well.

It isn't the loss of disposable income that  occurs when a child now demands non soiled diapers and stuff like  fresh new baby clothes. I am good with that.

It isn't the fear of not been able to view my wife the same sexy hot way she is before she delivers that baby. I have seen the birthing video and I think i am over this fear. Plus I read of a family that the woman has given birth to 18 kids. Obviously the female vagina is a soldier and laughs off the effects of one,2, 3, 12 birthing.

http://www.duggarfamily.com/photos.html

If a christian man can look at his wife after 15 kids and still think " I would like to tap that God given Ass sideways" then I should honor his christian example and represent.  This guy takes Psa 127:3 very literally.

My biggest fear is that my marriage will suffer. I have had people tell em that they have ignored each other Just for the kids. I have seen women express outrage that one should love their husband more than their kids, I have heard a man say that he will divorce his wife before he will part company with his child. All these are powerful expression of their love for thei kin but I cring everytime I hear that.

I love my wife. She is the best decision I ever made in my life and a pretty Hot one too. I have yet to meet another woman that I could look at and say "Gee, I wish my wife was like that"

I have seen a couple of stunners and magnificent racks and booties since I have gotten married but they seem to enjoy designer handbags, shopping at Neiman Marcus and abhor sweat in ANY form. I say, any woman that can rivals my wife and isn't married is either an awesome chick with a vow of celibacy OR a state of art cyborg from the future.

I don't want to lose us. It is very precious to me.

Gas breaking Point - My Predictions

Do you know what the breaking point in gas prices is? I know. it is simple.

$6.33- $7.67/gallon. In other words, equilibrium.  When the US is on par with Europe in gas prices, we will watch a nation break.

At that price, people with small to medium sized sedans with 13-15 gallons tank will pay $100 for gas.

SUV will guzzle $126- 152 per filling. it wont matter if the car does 20 miles per gallon. More than a $100 each filling will literally kill families off.

Imagine, the regular family that lives in the suburbs, 25-40 miles from where Dad work cuz this is where he can buy a house. throw in groceries run, soccer practices, church, movies and eating out, we are easily filling up every week. $504- $608 a month for just gas.

Remember, at $7.6 per gallon, even a Toyota Yaris will cost almost a $100 to fill up. Even if you fill out 3 times a week, that still comes to $378 a month.

This amount is rivaling many car payments people can make these days. If you are unlucky enough to pay more than $400 a month for your car loan, then congratulations.. you are royally getting a hosing.
 
Most people live check to check right now so how much more can we take?

Things can get scary real quick.  The US has the innovation to go greener and push for alternate forms of transportation.  Public transportation can only take you so far especially in places like Texas.

Motorcycles makers are rubbing their hands and laughing maniacally.

Hi Definition and Pron

I was watching a Hi def broadcast of football and I marvelled at the clarity of the picture. i could see which loose lipped commentators had too much makeup. I actually recommend makeup for all white people in HD broadcasts. Some of them be looking blotchy when they get excited. It is wierd to watch someone go red in 720p 50 inch screen. Pretty wierd.

Sports is soo cool especially football. Seeing the whole field and being able to tell a first down even before the refs can is pretty cool. Closeups of  replays are also awesome. Basketball is equally cool too. Being able to see EVERY sweat drop is pretty useless but cool nonetheless.

I then read an article on how Hollywood is concerned about HD because it exposes some of the beauty tricks that actors and actresses use to keep looking young. Rather interesting I think. I wish that chick from Desperate housewives will finally accept the fact that she is old and needs to do it gracefully. Teri Hatcher!! Dats her name. She and Vivica Fox need to get the memo and age gracefully.  Why does Vivica insist on the A in her name? we supposed to think she is a fox ? Wierd.

 

Anyway, as my mind wandered on the ramifications of HD TV viewing, I thot about another video entertainment avenue that would be affected by HD. Porn. Porn has been attributed to being the fore runner of a lot of Internet commerce technologies. I have even postulated that Porn would indicate the new HD video medium the US will take. I don't think so anymore but porn on HD is slightly scary.

 

Why is it scary? Simple. it is vulgar as it is in normal video, the thot of a genital closeup in HD sounds revolting. Every blemish,scar and spot will be on display for their viewers to see. Given the umm.. vigorous nature off their business, i think it would be cumbersome to continually reapply body makeup  to cover the multiple tramp stamps one might have.

Isn't there a great irony in that porn revels in showing the most intimate of acts for viewing and yet a medium that shows more gives them pause? I thought that porn might play a role in helping selecting the next HD format but it looks like the studios dealt the killing blow this time.  Maybe Porn has grown too much and become so much corporation  to innovate like it used to.

Perception and how it shapes your world.

I love my wife. She is awesome. The best!!! I have had one hater that said something bad about her but otherwise folks find her wonderful to be with. My wife loves giving freaky gifts in bridal showers. Now, this is weird cuz she comes across as VERY non freaky. No vulgar language at all. NO indication that she will spring a leather dominitrix bra with ass less panties for her girl at a bridal shower. Maybe that is why she does that.

 So after going out with a friend and shopping for gifts for their friend's bridal shower, she comes home and regales me of what they saw and what they considered buying. Now, on almost ANY other situation, she will not step into those freaky sex stores. Something about a bridal shower makes her hit pause on that inhibition and have fun.

Maybe she knows how freaky I am and  thinks that walking with me to a freaky sex store will be like  giving a Limeade Addict a swimming pool full of chilled Limeage and a rubber hose. I can understand that..

the real story is from her friend Nkiru and our mutual friend Obi's conversation.

nkiru- ... so we went into this freaky sex store and Funke was all so excited to pick out a freaky gift
obi- funke picks out freaky gifts??? REALLY?
nkiru- oh hell yeah!! she always lookign for the craziest gift to buy for bridal showers.
obi- So funke gives freaky girst.. I didn't see that coming..

***short pause**

obi- So Nkiru, What exactly is Funke's flaw??
nkiru- ummm, i don't know right now.


When I head this story, I just danced. When folks have diffculty finding a flaw then u know u have done a good thing. Vindication!! my wife picking skills are peerless!!!

How close are we to bankruptcy.

How close are we to bankruptcy? So many people in this country can't do without. You don't need to. Not enough cash for a TV? No problem. Slap that sucker on a credit card and pay it off for the next 3 years. As long as you make your monthly payments of $15, you will be good for the next 10-15 yrs.

As long as the money that comes in meets your minimum neccesary expenses then you are golden. If it doesn't then what??

The notion of not being able to handle your regular costs  with looming CC debts must be freaking daunting. I don't envy people going thru that.

If you have charged, the TV, furniture, clothes and car, what happens when your money is short? U still have to pay your CC bills and still find food to eat.

What about folks that supplement their income using CCs. I swear a good amount of folks at my old job were doing that. I mean, their houses HAd to have cost them their almost entire monthly paycheck. Where is the gas money going to come out off?

What can they cut off? I am scared for this country because I dont know how ready they are for hardship.Shoot, I dont know if I am ready for hardship.

Check this out. Essentially, gas has gone up more than 50% in the last 2-3 years and the demand hasn't changed accordingly.

This stuff is real people. OPEC has the US over it's lap and is taking it's time choosing what sports equipment to stick up the US's butt.

In Texas, Folks HAvE to drive. Surburbia has had folks living an hour from work and commuting to work. Single parent familes are on the rise so we have working women that have to pay for daycare, drive kids around and still get to and fro work. Coworker of mine fills up every 4 days. $95. Go ahead, do the maths. dat's $665 a month and I am being conservative.

She is the exception rather than the rule. Most people can't handle that. She can.  Hell, I dunno if i can do that.

I am curious to see where the breaking point will be. This is looking to be a perfect storm.  High gas prices, falling home values, rising cost of food.

How much will gas, food and the economy go south before people realize that this shit can get drastic?!!

How will it take before enough people realize that buyign a luxury car that demands Premium is not a good look for your wallet. Oh well, I guess they will simply fill up the car with the Credit card.. sigh..

p.s U know what?  Nigerians laugh at Americans complaining about money but Naija folks deal with str8t cash right? At least more so than the US. Build a house, u own it. Car? u own it. So if you lose your job or business, u have the car as your property.  Try that in the US.

I will not be ignored

You know what? Screw this!! I am no wise man in my old age but I know one thing. Stuff isn't how folks always make it out to be. I am having a child and I don't see why I have ACCEPT being a second class citizen in my own home.

I don't want none doting on me. Shoot, u don't have to make me dinner every night. I survived without a woman outside college and I did fine by myself. All I want is acknowledgement.

That child that everyone will be cooing is created due to me. No, I didn't carry the child but I am JUSt as important in the process as the woman. Don't believe me? GO ask those single parents out there if a Dad for lil Shola.

let's face it, I like being the central focus. Maybe I shouldn't have had a child. I know I can live my life simply about me but living for something other than me is the way to go. My heart says so. I guess my biggest fear is that my spouse will get all her emotional sustenance from caring this child and only give me the dregs.

Here is something I don't agree about that people tell me.
My life should revolve ALL about the child. That is wrong. I want to pour my lfe into my child but I want to keep some of my life left for me. I need life for me. My wife needs life for her.

I can't live all my life through my children. that shit isn't healthy.  They are my children right? If I love them, care for them, pray for them and provide for them, I am doing better than 80% of the world population. If you don't believe me, check the specs of world poverty.

We do STUPID stuff and salve our consciences by saying" Oh it is for the kids.." No it is stupid and u shouldn't have done it for the child that might not even appreciate it.

These children will leave me one day and I will be alone AGAIN with my wife and I will be damned if I now have to figure out how to live alone with my wife!! I married her for her not her ovaries. I WILL not beshuttled aside contantly ignored becuase the kids are calling.

My children will wait for me dammit.

Now I realize Ihave folks shaking their heads saying stuff like
"He doesn't know.. what til he gets that child" it may be so but I have heard that shit all my life.

I don't need a 2000 sq ft house for my children. I don't need a Minivan or a SUV to cart my kids around. I don't need to take out a loan so that they can go to private school. If I can afford it, GReat. If not, then they go to Public school and we give them extra homework.

What I want is a wonderful kid that loves his Mommy and Daddy. I want to invest in my kid's life and make sure that He or she grows up to a great person that bring life to other people.

I love my wife and I Know that when I married her, I knew that I would still be in love with her if she gave me no kids. Call me Draconian,old school, misguided all u want but I will not be ignored.

I need my crack!!

As I sipped on my 4th glass of Lemonade a week ago, I realized something. I am freaking addicted to this stuff!!! This isn't some nice, suburban "hello neighbor" addiction.

This was a full blown, New jack City, Boyz in the Hood addicted. I needed it. I wanted it.

Remember that cat from Boyz in the Hood? Come on baby.. I will do anything. I will s...." Well maybe NOT that bad but it wasn't a coincidence that people referred to Limeade as my "crack".

I have used many words to describe my like for lemonade. Drink of du jour. favorite flavor, taste that slaps me on the face. it didn't matter as long as I got me some Limeade cartoons every time the wifely unit cruised by the grocery store.

I even had a Limeade radar. As I drove by the store, i would go and buy a cartoon as so. JUST in case, my supply is running low at home and I needed a re-up.

**today's The Wire reference was brought to you by the Makers of Minute MAid Limeade. DRINK IT!!**

I would drink it if it had a limeade base to it. Alcohol? Lime flavored alcohol?? AM there!!! Lime flavored hookah?? HELL YEAH!!

I remember being agitated during meals because I didn't have Limeade with my steak and i contemplated running quickly to the store to grab a couple cartons. One might think that is no big deal but when the spousal unit declares the feeding time, Any attempts to leave the table are punished with flying cutlery.

Say what u want but a flying spoon can be freaking deadly to an eye. Don’t get me started on her fork throwing skills.

But I digress...

I didn't know when to stop. 5 glasses of Limeade, 6 glasses. 1 carton and a half in one day. It all depended on how I felt. Of course, no stomach can handle that much sweet and sour before the bowel launching a revolution.

It took 2 insurrections before I realized that
I had a problem. I couldn’t stop sipping on the stuff. I needed to get control of this. If not for me but for my kid!! I needed to be strong for the kid.

What kind of role model would I be if he saw me curled up at the corner, drooling, rocking back and forth from a sugar crash?? Desperately grabbing his bib to suck some of the sweet sweet baby formula out..

So I decided to stop. Cold turkey. Knock limeade off my diet for the foreseeable future. Quit. Take control of myself. Break the Habit.

That lasted 2 hours then I got restless. Agitated. No idea why at first but I couldn't sit still. I didn’t have anywhere to go but I needed to do something. I started cleaning stuff.

Re-arranging paper on my computer desk.
Cleaned out my car.
Alphabetized my graphic novel bookshelf.
Organized my DVD collection in alphabetically with attention to genre consideration.

After doing all that, I sat on the couch looking longingly at my tooe nails wishing that I could bite them. it was THEN i realized how much trouble I was in...

I don't know the limits of my willpower but I knew I was setting myself up for failure. I had to face the fact that I was a Limeade sugar crack fiend and needed to be weaned off the drug not cold turkey.

At this rate, I would be polishing the metal railings on the first floor of my apt building. I live in the 4th so you figure out how crazy that is.

I needed a sugar methadone pill . Something sweet yet not my crack. Something that I might use to get my thru these tough times.

Wifely unit to the rescue!! Faux chocolate drink with sugar free sugar. Ordinarily, it would have tasted like Sugar free ass but THIS time. it was like frenching the goddess of Sugar and bliss. I sucked up that scalding, taste bud, searing, hot cup like it was the last thing I could ever drink. I was sated.

I went to sleep. I think I am better now. I am not as restless. Even though, my work desk hasn't been this clean. My boss took notice when I whipped out the wood polish and start working on a dull part of the table that my monitor has scraped raw.

I think I will be ok.. I think i will.

Not posted in a while.

Why? Facebook. Joined it and I can write notes and tag specific people!! A lazy man's blog if you will. I guess I will double post some of the stuff I wrote there cuz at least I have more control on this blog as opposed to the FB stuff abi??

Today's WTF???

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/world/view/20080110-111467/Masturbate-a-Thon-coming-to-Copenhagen

OPENHAGEN -- Hot on the heels of San Francisco and London, Copenhagen is to host a Masturbate-a-Thon in May which organizers hope will help break lingering taboos about self-love, an organizer said Wednesday.

Pia Struck Madsen, a sexologist in the Danish capital, said her goal was to see men and women from all backgrounds come together -- pardon the pun -- and join an event that promises "pleasure, relaxation and sexual self-discovery".

"Masturbation is positive, safe and an erotic alternative," she told AFP ahead of the event on May 31, to take place at a yet-to-be-decided venue with separate rooms for men, women and those who don't mind mingling.

The original Masturbate-a-Thon took place in San Francisco in 1998, with participants raising money for good causes. Now an annual event, it was followed by a similar event in London in July 2006.

I tell u folks, u can't make this shit up.

Seriously.. WTF??

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/01/07/cake.irpt/index.html

 

Seriously.... what the heck?????

Iphone thots.

it has been a interesting time since the Jesus Phone was released. I was very happy to see this phone come out and watch the reaction. Again, Apple has shown that if you create a revolutionary interface, people will forgive other faults. The Iphone isn't perfect but it is pretty freaking sweet.

The battle to unlock the phone has been pretty fierce. I had predicted a new market of Iphone unlocking businesses and soon enough we had the first Iphone sw unlock. I will not give you the links but go to gizmodo.com and search for Iphone. LOTS of info there. Infact, they have a filter to remove all Iphone posts for folks sick of the iphone jibber jabber.

Anyway, Apple released a new update that caused sw unlocked iphones to be useless! ! TORPEDO and the sw unlock biz gets shot to death.

Apple has been very protective of the Iphone. I will not use the other words that people have used but suffice to say they were a lot stronger. "No 3rd party apps" they said initially.

Now they intend to ease that door open a little bit more. I don't know why they didn't tihnk to do this. FOlks would pay to have that nw fangled prog on their Iphone. These folks already paid $500 for their phone anyway..

DOnt get m started on the Iphone credit. That was brilliant.

Anyway, I still haven't gotten a Iphone cuz I am not crazy enuf to spend that much money on a phone. I also can't switch networks.. I will bid my time. A better Iphone will arise and when it meets my terms, I will pounce. til then, I will lust from a distance.

Crank that Lion King???

Lord knows I can't make this stuff up. The guy is pretty good though.




Seriously.. what is next? Crank that Alien vs Predator?

Do i really need to say much about this. Doesn't the pictures speak for themselves???? Oneof those days, i am soo glad I had a camera with me. Do the flames indicate speed or the dark fires of hell as he crusies down the interstate? I wish I knew the owner. I would hope it would a jolly fellow with a sense of humor. If he turned out to be a goth, not so funny after all.

How do u sign.. " Hi, are you a top or a bottom?"

Have u ever asked yourself wear deaf gay folks go to meet guys? Talk about a small demographic. I mean, before the internet, that must have been HARD.


Twisted mind wanderings brought to you by Spiritual Ninja.

Little swimmers.. Alittle late eh?

Little swimmers: A well known term used to indicate sperm. Especially used ina context to indicate an attempt in fertilizing a woman.

Also, I didn't realize a popular diaper for babies.

I saw this product in the target store and I was very amused. Little Swimmers. Diapers for babies to splash around. named after the splashers that got them to wear they are right now.

I would say that was due to efficient little swimmers that these little adorable poop machines were created so it is kinda wierd to be wearing clothing that point to your origin. I thot it was funny and strange all in all.

The Ipod Touch..

 

 http://images.apple.com/iphone/features/images/ipod_hero20070905.jpg

 

All I can say is FreaKing Sweet!!!!!!

My wife, man head kicker, cricket hater.

My wife is a Taekwondo black belt.

Her idea of fun is strapping on pads and gloves and kicking people in the head. IN The Head. Especially male sparring partners.

As we dated, she regaled me with stories of how she learnt numerous disabling moves to do and offered to show me said moves. Naturally I declined.

She can get out of a full nelson.

Blow out my knee without much thot

She can do more sit-ups than I can.

In short, my wife can kick my ass.

Why does THIS scare the living daylights out of her? It is a freaking cricket and it happened to get into the house.

I am nestled in the midst of a lovely cuddle when her screaming makes my blood curdle.

I turn, expecting this behind with a meat hook aimed for my anus but I see this.

That is a far cry from a Jason clone with a meat hook aimed for my anus. A far cry indeed.

It makes no sense. She loves kicking men in the head yet crickets are anathema.

I am fully convinced that upon sighting a cricket and given a weapon choice of a shoe, bat, semi automatic or flame thrower, my wife will heft that flame thrower and lay waste tot the entire apartment. As long as lil jiminy doesn't make out of the inferno.

In all fairness, the cricket in our home was a lot uglier than Jiminy. Not by much. Jiminy would have still been flame roasted.

Crank that Souljah Boyz vs Holla if you hear me MasterP

 just when I am getting a full head of steam cursing out the people that like stuff like Crank that souljah boy and it's dance.... I remember that at one time, I thought I got master P was crunk. Everytime I listen to Master P these days and hear him groan.. I shake my head in shame.

 

my generation bought his CDs and grew up and now hhold their noses up to Souljah boy??? we be hypocrites.

What sort of disturbing thots have u had?

Out of the blue, i get these thots in my head. Not often but when I get them I want to physically scratch them off my brain. As if their existence is perverting me into some deviant or nutjob. I don't know why I think them. it just happens now and then. I

have learnt to NOT share them with close people. Every time I have done so, they have given me a look that spoke volumes. Usually the" the man could be a serial killer for all I know of him" look is prevalent.

Here is one of them that hit me recently. Do gay men yearn for anal penetration? Say what u want about homosexuality but the anal cavity isn't built for entry. Plus, spin it however u want, it is where poop comes from. Poop has been coming out there so long, there is no way to cleanse it of the poop smell.

So I would imagine that any entry into the poop zone will get some parting gifts depending of the penetrated's diet.

So do they yearn for it or get used to it? I dunno but I regretted thinking this thot because it spawned a follow-up thought.

Are there gay men that don't want anal sex just fellatio? **shivers**Are those men actually gay???
I think participating in anal sex is a different level of commitment than man on man mandingo manhandling. Even lesbians utilize the vagina but gay men.. they got no vagina. the poop hole is all they have.

I scare myself sometimes. Can I even ask a gay guy this question? This is defintely not ice breaker conversation.