I need my crack!!

As I sipped on my 4th glass of Lemonade a week ago, I realized something. I am freaking addicted to this stuff!!! This isn't some nice, suburban "hello neighbor" addiction.

This was a full blown, New jack City, Boyz in the Hood addicted. I needed it. I wanted it.

Remember that cat from Boyz in the Hood? Come on baby.. I will do anything. I will s...." Well maybe NOT that bad but it wasn't a coincidence that people referred to Limeade as my "crack".

I have used many words to describe my like for lemonade. Drink of du jour. favorite flavor, taste that slaps me on the face. it didn't matter as long as I got me some Limeade cartoons every time the wifely unit cruised by the grocery store.

I even had a Limeade radar. As I drove by the store, i would go and buy a cartoon as so. JUST in case, my supply is running low at home and I needed a re-up.

**today's The Wire reference was brought to you by the Makers of Minute MAid Limeade. DRINK IT!!**

I would drink it if it had a limeade base to it. Alcohol? Lime flavored alcohol?? AM there!!! Lime flavored hookah?? HELL YEAH!!

I remember being agitated during meals because I didn't have Limeade with my steak and i contemplated running quickly to the store to grab a couple cartons. One might think that is no big deal but when the spousal unit declares the feeding time, Any attempts to leave the table are punished with flying cutlery.

Say what u want but a flying spoon can be freaking deadly to an eye. Don’t get me started on her fork throwing skills.

But I digress...

I didn't know when to stop. 5 glasses of Limeade, 6 glasses. 1 carton and a half in one day. It all depended on how I felt. Of course, no stomach can handle that much sweet and sour before the bowel launching a revolution.

It took 2 insurrections before I realized that
I had a problem. I couldn’t stop sipping on the stuff. I needed to get control of this. If not for me but for my kid!! I needed to be strong for the kid.

What kind of role model would I be if he saw me curled up at the corner, drooling, rocking back and forth from a sugar crash?? Desperately grabbing his bib to suck some of the sweet sweet baby formula out..

So I decided to stop. Cold turkey. Knock limeade off my diet for the foreseeable future. Quit. Take control of myself. Break the Habit.

That lasted 2 hours then I got restless. Agitated. No idea why at first but I couldn't sit still. I didn’t have anywhere to go but I needed to do something. I started cleaning stuff.

Re-arranging paper on my computer desk.
Cleaned out my car.
Alphabetized my graphic novel bookshelf.
Organized my DVD collection in alphabetically with attention to genre consideration.

After doing all that, I sat on the couch looking longingly at my tooe nails wishing that I could bite them. it was THEN i realized how much trouble I was in...

I don't know the limits of my willpower but I knew I was setting myself up for failure. I had to face the fact that I was a Limeade sugar crack fiend and needed to be weaned off the drug not cold turkey.

At this rate, I would be polishing the metal railings on the first floor of my apt building. I live in the 4th so you figure out how crazy that is.

I needed a sugar methadone pill . Something sweet yet not my crack. Something that I might use to get my thru these tough times.

Wifely unit to the rescue!! Faux chocolate drink with sugar free sugar. Ordinarily, it would have tasted like Sugar free ass but THIS time. it was like frenching the goddess of Sugar and bliss. I sucked up that scalding, taste bud, searing, hot cup like it was the last thing I could ever drink. I was sated.

I went to sleep. I think I am better now. I am not as restless. Even though, my work desk hasn't been this clean. My boss took notice when I whipped out the wood polish and start working on a dull part of the table that my monitor has scraped raw.

I think I will be ok.. I think i will.