Fear of in laws

I survived the in laws!!! Wifey unit had the entire family come to our place for thnxgiving. Now I knew that they were coming but I still had to stifle an initial emotion of panic.

All her family here in this small, tiny apt. My apt isn't small by no means but with with 4 extra people coming in, my apt felt like a litter box.


I couldn't get over it. I reduced the gibbering fear to a slight whimper. Wifey couldn't help me cuz this is her family! her people. I was the intruder that that took their only daughter. They are coming to MY place and staying in my place.


What if they don't like the way e live? What if they think I am not good enuf for her?What if they think I don't treat wifey right and proceed to beat me with cold turkey legs?


Not rational thots but in laws initiate my fight of flight instincts. It turned out great though but I didn't realize that I had such fears. It wasn't until the parents had left that I was relieved.

Now imagine if I had bad in laws. I would need anti ulcer medicine.

My life is good.

P.T.F.C Post thanksgiving Fridge Confusion.

I have noticed a new condition in the thanksgiving season. It is called P.T.F.C Post thanksgiving Fridge Confusion.

This condition is initiated when the leftovers are piled into identical clear zip locks bags and loaded in the fridge.

The sheer amount of food satchels in the fridge combines to create this condition where one is paralysed when seeking foodal elements for your post thanksgiving meals.

Look at this picture. I don' know what is meat or stuffing. Beef or chicken? I don't know. I can't tell. I have spent at least 15 minutes staring at the fridge in total confusion. All the zip lock bags look the same and I am scared of upsetting the obviously precarious balance of the fridge.

I ate a lot for thxgiving but I have eaten considerably less after the food had been loaded on the fridge.

Check this pic out. I am lost!!!! I don't recognize my fridge no more. All I know is the Cherry Lemonade bottle at the bottom and that is my go to choice.

Even though I wanted meat, I would stare at all the zip lock bags and my brain would freeze.

See the pic. Tell me I am not crazy. This is a real condition.

My trip to the country!!!

I have returned from the freaking country!!! My boi D invited me to his in laws' farm ranch an hour from where we live. Wifey is from the Chi and so far, she has been disappointed that I don't regularly milk cows and rock big ass belt buckles. So actually going to the country and be at a real life ranch was a no miss event. I trust my boi and he is of the African persuasion so I know that my deliverance scares can never happen. Although if anyone comments of my purty mouth, I am outta there!!!

So we rolling to this joint, Mapquest, google maps ready. Sorry just joking. mapquesting the address was an experience in of itself. Yahoo maps laughed at me and pointed me to the downtown area of the nearest town. I figured that going to Main Street CAN't be a farm ranch. I then went to Google maps. My main source. My trust worthy maps source. Nothing. I think Google maps laughed at me and showed me a map of Texas with a "good luck buddy" icon next to it. Slight hyperbole? Maybe but I swear the browser laughed at me.

I was literally going to off the beaten path. Since technology has failed me, I called our hosts for personal directions. I was essentially told to drive til u leave all civilization and wait at the solitary gas station and wait for them to rescue fetch us. Now u know that filled me with buckets of joy. Any place so far of the beaten path that requires us to be picked up scares me.

Now why did we go still? My boi is naija. We go way back. I don't owe him money and since we past the last Bank ATM 30 miles AGo, I am good. If he can handle this then i can. Plus wifey is never scared. So we rolled. As we drove, I spotted my boi's car. Great, so we all caravanned with him and drove... and drove... and freaking drove... .

I checked my phone. No signal. No strike that. No freaking service. Dear God, T-mobile don abandon me oh.. we soon turned off the highway and started driving on a narrow ass road that looked too small to be a 2 way road.

i comforted myself with the existence of Power cables along the road. At least we will have electricity this weekend. Lights are not essential for me. I am Naija remember?? My checklist is simple. I want indoor plumbing and hot water. I didn't come to Yankee to do cold bucket baths again. Walahi.

What? We turning off this narrow country ass road?? Into a red gravel path?? Chineke!! We can't drive more than 20 miles on this road!! Where in God's earth we going?? I sat back and reaffirmed my trust on D.

Finally we are here. the house is Nice. Beautiful house. electricity- check, indoor plumbing- check, hot water- hell yeah!! I think this will be great. the folks at the place were great..
Life in the country is relaxing for real. U feel the tension of city life melt off.

1st thing on the agenda- Fishing. We start heading for the fishing hole. there is this cool game they play in the country. it is called " Try not to step on the steaming or dried pile of cow crap". The winner gets to wear their shoes again after the weekend. Back to the fishing. My wife represented. 5!!!




I never thot fishing would make her so happy. See the pictures for evidence. All in all, i enjoyed my time there. The people were fun and I made new friends. I learned that living in the country shows u how much personal interaction we miss in this tech whole we live in. Don't get me wrong. I love my Internet and cell phone. Anyway, I have blogged enuf.

I can't cook... Sue me!!!

I can't cook. Haven't been able in a while. Don't really see much desire to do so. Even in my bachelor alone days, I still didn't' cook much. I scrounged off family friends and dear sister to get cooked meals. I survived, In fact, I look pretty damned good for a guy that blanks out when people hand him measuring spoons and says words like "fold, baste, fricassee" Cooking channels are just as entertaining as Telemundo for me. Both channels speak language I don't understand. Most important thing is that i survived.

Now wifey comes into my life and she loves to cook. Wants to cook. Knows that I don't want to cook or can cook. She is OK with it. Now, some men and women will look at her in disgust for "accepting such a subservient female role". They are mugus all of them. If she didn't cook, I would still eat. the reason she cooks?? Honestly dunno . Don't care. My wife cooks cuz she loves me.

When I compliment her on the delectable meal, I have. Her face lights up. It is in my best interest to speak on her fooding skills as effusively as possibly. I think she likes it when I throw in a bunch of adjectives and do the holy ghost dance after a steak dinner. I thin collapse on the bed but I think she likes that as well.

It works for us and I am not about to be messing with a good thing. maybe some day I will surprise her with a home cooked meal. I will also rent a crash cart and ready the defibrillator as well. I might need it.