Am sorry.. babies suck!!

sometimes....

ever since I became a father, I laugh internally when I hear people say stuff like, I am not ready to be a father.

Who truly is? Lord knows I wasn't. I thought I was and was a very willing participant in the process but now I hold my lil pretty one in my hands, I mourn for what I lost.

I miss the spontaneity. the sheer get up and go possibilities that I had before. The funny thing was that I had mourned the loss of my single spontaneity. Now, I miss the spontaneity of being married with no child.

I think what annoys me the most is the degree of difficulty certain things have become because I have a child now.

The husband /wife dynamic totally changes. I now refer to Childbirth as the Great reset. Any decisions, discussions, plans or deals made before the baby are subject to change.

I miss my pre baby wife. This new one was unexpected.

That is the key isn't it? All of this is unexpected. I don;t care how "ready" you think you are. It is all unexpected. You might "know" what you will expect but the experience is different for everyone.

I knew that the relationship between my spouse and I will change but I didn't realize how much I would miss the old relationship. I didn't think that I would feel it so sharply.

I miss my pre baby life.

Now some might consider this whiny.I can't unmake my child and I can't go back in time. These things I miss, exist in the past. All I can do is forge forward wit hmy new reality.

People say that the first few years in their marriage was hard. Mine were very easy and wonderful. Maybe it is time for me to work harder in my marriage and buil don the foundation we had in the initial years.

Love still fills my home. I love wifey and my child can be a joy to behold. I just have this new reality that I need to forge into something wonderful.

I will not sacrifice my marriage for my child. I will love my wife and my child and we will all grow together for it.

Thank you for listening to me bitch. I guess for the first time in my marriage, I now have to actively work on sculpting it to something wonderful. I am lucky in that respect.

Some might think I wish I could have delayed having kids with all the complaining I am doing. I had them at the right time as far as I am concerned. if I could have had them earlier, i would have.

Lie to me!!

Sometimes after u been with somebody for a while. the stories get kinda stale. U start hearing the same childhood stories she told u before about her mother and u just have to grin and bear it.

Don't get me wrong. As a guy, I have less stories on MY rotation so I am sure my girl has had to weather thru the same " the day I became a real Man" story 11- 120 times.

That aside, the answers to "How was your day?" are the issue here. After 2-3 years of hearing "fine" or "ok" or " great" start to get on your nerves.

Wifey comes home from the grocery stores and all she has in her story basket is some chick mistaken our baby girl for a guy. That is it.
I asked " what did you say to her?"
"Nothing" she replied, I walked off.
BooooooooooooooRING.....

I am sure she LOOVES to hear my stories about how my customers were upset that they didn't have 24/7 access to the internet or my meetings with my boss that went very well.

"How was your meeting?"

"It went well. We came up with some good action points and left with a consensus of what needs to be done at the blah... blah blah blah.."
BooooooRrrring......

You start to look at your spouse and think "Why doesn't anything interesting happen to you?" "Why don't you get kidnapped or something and come back to tell us about it?!!"

Anything!! Just don't came back from work to hear that nothing interesting happened.

So it came to me today. How about we spice up our life by lying about it?? Seriously! What harm would there be if we did. At least we could weave a great yarn that will entrance our listeners for the day.

Maintain the lie as long as you can. It will be fun that way.

Imagine the grocery story with embellishments.

"Honey , can you believe that someone say our baby with the pink bow in her head and STILL called her a boy??!!"

"Wow, what did you say to her??"

"I grabbed her hair and pulled it as close to the baby carrier and demanded that she apologize to my baby girl for her insults!! When she struggled, I slapped her 3 times and dropkicked her into the frozen food section!!!"

"Holy crap!! u r awesome!!!"

Now tell me that doesn't brighten up your evening with that story. Now wifey and I can cuddle by the TV, anticipating a SWAT team knocking on our door. If that isn't exciting, I don't know what to tell you.

What about my Boss meeting story?

" Honey , how was your meeting with your boss?"

Awesome!! My CEO and 3 VPs joined the meeting on a whim and congratulated me on a fantastic job so far. They wanted to reward me with a 5% raise and I told my CEO to kiss my ass with that pansy raise. One of the VP tried to reprimand and I told HIM to suck it!!"

"Wow, incredible!! what did they say to that??!!"

"The CEO was impressed and praised my huge cojones and gave me a 200% raise!!! "

"Wow Awesome baby, I love you even more!!!"

Go ahead, try it out. Take a normal, mundane day and spin a great lie about it. Give your spouse one exciting story for the day. It might not be true but it sure will beat the usual crap we say.

I feel bad for the old geezer racists

I feel bad for the old racists. The ones 70 yrs or more. The ones that REALLY can talk about the good old days. Those days, they could string up a Negro on a tree and gather around, take pictures and talk about family vacations while the man kicked and died over their heads.

Being able to scare away black families with a brightly lit cross, some choice words, harassment and still make it in time to be an usher for the Wednesday bible study at Church.

Those great days when there were still enough overt legal Jim crow laws being enforced to allow old racists to still feel that Negroes knew their places. A negro could be free but if he didn’t have a job, correct papers, the right color shoes and looked suspicious, they locked him up a jail and made him work his sentence in "prison farms".

I am sure they all curse the name of MLK. "MLK messed that up" they mutter in their soup .
Civil rights movement really pushed those old "string a nigger up" days out of their social calendar. Bear in mind, they were still doing it but skulking into the dark woods just didn’t have the same panache as a Main street lynching.

Even though I am sure they sent copious thank you cards and poured liquor out to the idiot that killed James Byrd in Texas over there. Something to the effect that he was old skool with his negro relationship skills.

In 2009, they must just HATE life. Especially when they turn on TV. Every new channel every day talking about it. It must suck old geezer donkey balls.

" A black president??? U must be freaking kidding me??!! Every time I see him on TV, I spit out my teeth, then change the channel and have to get my jamaican nurse to drain my colostomy bag."

Hurry up and Die racists. I hope your health insurance agent is black as well. I am sorry, I take that back. I hope you all live a very long time and may all your daughters marry a man from another race.

Have some more black eyed pea soup.

Been a long time..

Wow, it has been along time. I have actually been on face book for awhile now.  I guess I fashied this side for the new hotness but I am back now because I realized that this blog here is Mine and alone. 

It might not have the viewership I have on facebook but it will allow me to say what I want and when I want. 

I am going to transfer some of my notes to  blogspot  over the next 2-3 days. there will be a lot of new content for any none FB people so hopefully you can enjoy.