Perception and how it shapes your world.

I love my wife. She is awesome. The best!!! I have had one hater that said something bad about her but otherwise folks find her wonderful to be with. My wife loves giving freaky gifts in bridal showers. Now, this is weird cuz she comes across as VERY non freaky. No vulgar language at all. NO indication that she will spring a leather dominitrix bra with ass less panties for her girl at a bridal shower. Maybe that is why she does that.

 So after going out with a friend and shopping for gifts for their friend's bridal shower, she comes home and regales me of what they saw and what they considered buying. Now, on almost ANY other situation, she will not step into those freaky sex stores. Something about a bridal shower makes her hit pause on that inhibition and have fun.

Maybe she knows how freaky I am and  thinks that walking with me to a freaky sex store will be like  giving a Limeade Addict a swimming pool full of chilled Limeage and a rubber hose. I can understand that..

the real story is from her friend Nkiru and our mutual friend Obi's conversation.

nkiru- ... so we went into this freaky sex store and Funke was all so excited to pick out a freaky gift
obi- funke picks out freaky gifts??? REALLY?
nkiru- oh hell yeah!! she always lookign for the craziest gift to buy for bridal showers.
obi- So funke gives freaky girst.. I didn't see that coming..

***short pause**

obi- So Nkiru, What exactly is Funke's flaw??
nkiru- ummm, i don't know right now.


When I head this story, I just danced. When folks have diffculty finding a flaw then u know u have done a good thing. Vindication!! my wife picking skills are peerless!!!

How close are we to bankruptcy.

How close are we to bankruptcy? So many people in this country can't do without. You don't need to. Not enough cash for a TV? No problem. Slap that sucker on a credit card and pay it off for the next 3 years. As long as you make your monthly payments of $15, you will be good for the next 10-15 yrs.

As long as the money that comes in meets your minimum neccesary expenses then you are golden. If it doesn't then what??

The notion of not being able to handle your regular costs  with looming CC debts must be freaking daunting. I don't envy people going thru that.

If you have charged, the TV, furniture, clothes and car, what happens when your money is short? U still have to pay your CC bills and still find food to eat.

What about folks that supplement their income using CCs. I swear a good amount of folks at my old job were doing that. I mean, their houses HAd to have cost them their almost entire monthly paycheck. Where is the gas money going to come out off?

What can they cut off? I am scared for this country because I dont know how ready they are for hardship.Shoot, I dont know if I am ready for hardship.

Check this out. Essentially, gas has gone up more than 50% in the last 2-3 years and the demand hasn't changed accordingly.

This stuff is real people. OPEC has the US over it's lap and is taking it's time choosing what sports equipment to stick up the US's butt.

In Texas, Folks HAvE to drive. Surburbia has had folks living an hour from work and commuting to work. Single parent familes are on the rise so we have working women that have to pay for daycare, drive kids around and still get to and fro work. Coworker of mine fills up every 4 days. $95. Go ahead, do the maths. dat's $665 a month and I am being conservative.

She is the exception rather than the rule. Most people can't handle that. She can.  Hell, I dunno if i can do that.

I am curious to see where the breaking point will be. This is looking to be a perfect storm.  High gas prices, falling home values, rising cost of food.

How much will gas, food and the economy go south before people realize that this shit can get drastic?!!

How will it take before enough people realize that buyign a luxury car that demands Premium is not a good look for your wallet. Oh well, I guess they will simply fill up the car with the Credit card.. sigh..

p.s U know what?  Nigerians laugh at Americans complaining about money but Naija folks deal with str8t cash right? At least more so than the US. Build a house, u own it. Car? u own it. So if you lose your job or business, u have the car as your property.  Try that in the US.

I will not be ignored

You know what? Screw this!! I am no wise man in my old age but I know one thing. Stuff isn't how folks always make it out to be. I am having a child and I don't see why I have ACCEPT being a second class citizen in my own home.

I don't want none doting on me. Shoot, u don't have to make me dinner every night. I survived without a woman outside college and I did fine by myself. All I want is acknowledgement.

That child that everyone will be cooing is created due to me. No, I didn't carry the child but I am JUSt as important in the process as the woman. Don't believe me? GO ask those single parents out there if a Dad for lil Shola.

let's face it, I like being the central focus. Maybe I shouldn't have had a child. I know I can live my life simply about me but living for something other than me is the way to go. My heart says so. I guess my biggest fear is that my spouse will get all her emotional sustenance from caring this child and only give me the dregs.

Here is something I don't agree about that people tell me.
My life should revolve ALL about the child. That is wrong. I want to pour my lfe into my child but I want to keep some of my life left for me. I need life for me. My wife needs life for her.

I can't live all my life through my children. that shit isn't healthy.  They are my children right? If I love them, care for them, pray for them and provide for them, I am doing better than 80% of the world population. If you don't believe me, check the specs of world poverty.

We do STUPID stuff and salve our consciences by saying" Oh it is for the kids.." No it is stupid and u shouldn't have done it for the child that might not even appreciate it.

These children will leave me one day and I will be alone AGAIN with my wife and I will be damned if I now have to figure out how to live alone with my wife!! I married her for her not her ovaries. I WILL not beshuttled aside contantly ignored becuase the kids are calling.

My children will wait for me dammit.

Now I realize Ihave folks shaking their heads saying stuff like
"He doesn't know.. what til he gets that child" it may be so but I have heard that shit all my life.

I don't need a 2000 sq ft house for my children. I don't need a Minivan or a SUV to cart my kids around. I don't need to take out a loan so that they can go to private school. If I can afford it, GReat. If not, then they go to Public school and we give them extra homework.

What I want is a wonderful kid that loves his Mommy and Daddy. I want to invest in my kid's life and make sure that He or she grows up to a great person that bring life to other people.

I love my wife and I Know that when I married her, I knew that I would still be in love with her if she gave me no kids. Call me Draconian,old school, misguided all u want but I will not be ignored.

I need my crack!!

As I sipped on my 4th glass of Lemonade a week ago, I realized something. I am freaking addicted to this stuff!!! This isn't some nice, suburban "hello neighbor" addiction.

This was a full blown, New jack City, Boyz in the Hood addicted. I needed it. I wanted it.

Remember that cat from Boyz in the Hood? Come on baby.. I will do anything. I will s...." Well maybe NOT that bad but it wasn't a coincidence that people referred to Limeade as my "crack".

I have used many words to describe my like for lemonade. Drink of du jour. favorite flavor, taste that slaps me on the face. it didn't matter as long as I got me some Limeade cartoons every time the wifely unit cruised by the grocery store.

I even had a Limeade radar. As I drove by the store, i would go and buy a cartoon as so. JUST in case, my supply is running low at home and I needed a re-up.

**today's The Wire reference was brought to you by the Makers of Minute MAid Limeade. DRINK IT!!**

I would drink it if it had a limeade base to it. Alcohol? Lime flavored alcohol?? AM there!!! Lime flavored hookah?? HELL YEAH!!

I remember being agitated during meals because I didn't have Limeade with my steak and i contemplated running quickly to the store to grab a couple cartons. One might think that is no big deal but when the spousal unit declares the feeding time, Any attempts to leave the table are punished with flying cutlery.

Say what u want but a flying spoon can be freaking deadly to an eye. Don’t get me started on her fork throwing skills.

But I digress...

I didn't know when to stop. 5 glasses of Limeade, 6 glasses. 1 carton and a half in one day. It all depended on how I felt. Of course, no stomach can handle that much sweet and sour before the bowel launching a revolution.

It took 2 insurrections before I realized that
I had a problem. I couldn’t stop sipping on the stuff. I needed to get control of this. If not for me but for my kid!! I needed to be strong for the kid.

What kind of role model would I be if he saw me curled up at the corner, drooling, rocking back and forth from a sugar crash?? Desperately grabbing his bib to suck some of the sweet sweet baby formula out..

So I decided to stop. Cold turkey. Knock limeade off my diet for the foreseeable future. Quit. Take control of myself. Break the Habit.

That lasted 2 hours then I got restless. Agitated. No idea why at first but I couldn't sit still. I didn’t have anywhere to go but I needed to do something. I started cleaning stuff.

Re-arranging paper on my computer desk.
Cleaned out my car.
Alphabetized my graphic novel bookshelf.
Organized my DVD collection in alphabetically with attention to genre consideration.

After doing all that, I sat on the couch looking longingly at my tooe nails wishing that I could bite them. it was THEN i realized how much trouble I was in...

I don't know the limits of my willpower but I knew I was setting myself up for failure. I had to face the fact that I was a Limeade sugar crack fiend and needed to be weaned off the drug not cold turkey.

At this rate, I would be polishing the metal railings on the first floor of my apt building. I live in the 4th so you figure out how crazy that is.

I needed a sugar methadone pill . Something sweet yet not my crack. Something that I might use to get my thru these tough times.

Wifely unit to the rescue!! Faux chocolate drink with sugar free sugar. Ordinarily, it would have tasted like Sugar free ass but THIS time. it was like frenching the goddess of Sugar and bliss. I sucked up that scalding, taste bud, searing, hot cup like it was the last thing I could ever drink. I was sated.

I went to sleep. I think I am better now. I am not as restless. Even though, my work desk hasn't been this clean. My boss took notice when I whipped out the wood polish and start working on a dull part of the table that my monitor has scraped raw.

I think I will be ok.. I think i will.