Crank that Lion King???

Lord knows I can't make this stuff up. The guy is pretty good though.




Seriously.. what is next? Crank that Alien vs Predator?

Do i really need to say much about this. Doesn't the pictures speak for themselves???? Oneof those days, i am soo glad I had a camera with me. Do the flames indicate speed or the dark fires of hell as he crusies down the interstate? I wish I knew the owner. I would hope it would a jolly fellow with a sense of humor. If he turned out to be a goth, not so funny after all.

How do u sign.. " Hi, are you a top or a bottom?"

Have u ever asked yourself wear deaf gay folks go to meet guys? Talk about a small demographic. I mean, before the internet, that must have been HARD.


Twisted mind wanderings brought to you by Spiritual Ninja.

Little swimmers.. Alittle late eh?

Little swimmers: A well known term used to indicate sperm. Especially used ina context to indicate an attempt in fertilizing a woman.

Also, I didn't realize a popular diaper for babies.

I saw this product in the target store and I was very amused. Little Swimmers. Diapers for babies to splash around. named after the splashers that got them to wear they are right now.

I would say that was due to efficient little swimmers that these little adorable poop machines were created so it is kinda wierd to be wearing clothing that point to your origin. I thot it was funny and strange all in all.

The Ipod Touch..

 

 http://images.apple.com/iphone/features/images/ipod_hero20070905.jpg

 

All I can say is FreaKing Sweet!!!!!!

My wife, man head kicker, cricket hater.

My wife is a Taekwondo black belt.

Her idea of fun is strapping on pads and gloves and kicking people in the head. IN The Head. Especially male sparring partners.

As we dated, she regaled me with stories of how she learnt numerous disabling moves to do and offered to show me said moves. Naturally I declined.

She can get out of a full nelson.

Blow out my knee without much thot

She can do more sit-ups than I can.

In short, my wife can kick my ass.

Why does THIS scare the living daylights out of her? It is a freaking cricket and it happened to get into the house.

I am nestled in the midst of a lovely cuddle when her screaming makes my blood curdle.

I turn, expecting this behind with a meat hook aimed for my anus but I see this.

That is a far cry from a Jason clone with a meat hook aimed for my anus. A far cry indeed.

It makes no sense. She loves kicking men in the head yet crickets are anathema.

I am fully convinced that upon sighting a cricket and given a weapon choice of a shoe, bat, semi automatic or flame thrower, my wife will heft that flame thrower and lay waste tot the entire apartment. As long as lil jiminy doesn't make out of the inferno.

In all fairness, the cricket in our home was a lot uglier than Jiminy. Not by much. Jiminy would have still been flame roasted.

Crank that Souljah Boyz vs Holla if you hear me MasterP

 just when I am getting a full head of steam cursing out the people that like stuff like Crank that souljah boy and it's dance.... I remember that at one time, I thought I got master P was crunk. Everytime I listen to Master P these days and hear him groan.. I shake my head in shame.

 

my generation bought his CDs and grew up and now hhold their noses up to Souljah boy??? we be hypocrites.

What sort of disturbing thots have u had?

Out of the blue, i get these thots in my head. Not often but when I get them I want to physically scratch them off my brain. As if their existence is perverting me into some deviant or nutjob. I don't know why I think them. it just happens now and then. I

have learnt to NOT share them with close people. Every time I have done so, they have given me a look that spoke volumes. Usually the" the man could be a serial killer for all I know of him" look is prevalent.

Here is one of them that hit me recently. Do gay men yearn for anal penetration? Say what u want about homosexuality but the anal cavity isn't built for entry. Plus, spin it however u want, it is where poop comes from. Poop has been coming out there so long, there is no way to cleanse it of the poop smell.

So I would imagine that any entry into the poop zone will get some parting gifts depending of the penetrated's diet.

So do they yearn for it or get used to it? I dunno but I regretted thinking this thot because it spawned a follow-up thought.

Are there gay men that don't want anal sex just fellatio? **shivers**Are those men actually gay???
I think participating in anal sex is a different level of commitment than man on man mandingo manhandling. Even lesbians utilize the vagina but gay men.. they got no vagina. the poop hole is all they have.

I scare myself sometimes. Can I even ask a gay guy this question? This is defintely not ice breaker conversation.

Poor Poor Millionaires

 

Read this NY Times articles about Millionaires not feeling like Millionaires. Now, I was very intrigued. "I wonder if these are stock millionaires on paper" I thot as I clicked on the link. Well, I was right and I was wrong. Some of the whiners in this article did have $1- 5 million in the bank but were still toiling away trying to maintain their lifestyle.

 

One person was quoted to NOT be able to maintain lifestyle if they stopped working whilst being a millionaire. I almost fell off my chair invoking the spirits of Stupidity to reach out and strike this man down. I mean, what kind of expenditures are u rocking that doesn't allow you to live off a couple million????

 

Yes, they live in Silicon valley but BITCH move!!!!!!! Come to Texas!!!  Sell that $750000 "dream" home and buy a $300000 dream place by the lake that has EVERYTHING u had in Cali but only bigger. Then u can use the ~half a million you have left over to DO WHAT THE F**K you want to do.

 

What is this some sort of gilded rat race?  They are in the 1% of the world's population in wealth and you are pulling 60 hour weeks and clocking in on weekends? WHY? For what? My problem is that there are folks making a quarter mill a year and living the Vida loca.

 

What is the point of having millions yet u spend 750000 on a house??? I swear, we are amazing creatures us humans. How we get used to so little and still survive yet folks have soo much and they still sound like they don't have enough.

 

there was an adjoining article that spoke more to what I was taking about. making do with $10 million. $10 million !!!!! This guy spoke of friends that spent a quarter million on a car but rarely takes it out cuz he is scared of getting a dent on it. Parks it miles away cuz he doesn't want folks to ding it. You would think that rich people like that would be smart enough to see that he could have bought 4 E class Mercedes with that money. Shoot with a quarter million. Buy one Mercedes and pimp it out so it has dent proof covering!  If u can put Purple ostrich skin covering on your car, you can get dent proof covering dammit!!

 

You know, the root of it all is vanity. Dat is all it is.  things you just GOTTA have..

 

A $500k house in the "right" neighborhood becomes a $4million place.

$250,000/yr in Mortgage

$50k in taxes

$100k /yr in private schools ( walahi!!)

$50k for private college.

$50k for Summer home.

$250k for country club fees- Dear God in heaven..

 

U know what? If this is what is to be rich then I don't want to be. This is scary how much money u have to spend to be among the elite.

 

now granted, not everyone rocks a million dollar home. If u go from 4 mill to quarter mill then u have spent a lot less but  u gotta wonder on where the sweet spot is. That point where u earn more than u spend and save enough. I don't know if there is a magic number of earnings. I think it is a matter of state of being.

 

I don't care who u are but with $5 million in the bank with 8% interest, you should not have to work again. Sell your million dollar (paid for!!) home and move to saner parts of the country.  Move to Austin where u can be just as snobbish and fake but for a LOT less money. Beat that!!!

Da Ringtone biz??

T-Pain told folks that he got a couple million from ringtones sales off his new album. Isn't that wild? I like the idea though. Hopefully, the artist gets a bigger chunk of the sales of the ring tone biz than the record biz. The issue is that the ringtone prices are crazy!!! $2.49 for a snippet of a song? i can BUY the song for $.99 and re-rip to mp3 and edit it to ringtones! Don't get me started on illegal d/ls.

Isn't it funny that rappers are bragging on their ringtone sales. Ringtones sales??!! WOW. I guess the music industry is changing somewhat. Of course, i dunno how much each artist gets for each ringtone but i will take any way to connect directly to the artist. Or connect closer to the artist.

So now, Common comes out with Finding Forever. I can buy the album for $9.99 or buy 4 ringtones for $10. Now which one makes Common more money? I wanna know. Right now, i am leaning on getting the album cuz I can't pay for a freaking ringtone. Especially when they are more expensive than Itune files.. they are crazy!!! As long Audacity is still open source.. and Windows Mobile phones use Mp3, I will never pay for a ringtone...... Again....

Kamikaze Shot blocker

Been a while y'all. A lot has happened since my last post. Actually, I was unable to blog for a while. What happens when you shatter your elbow. Yeah, shattered not broken not sprained or strained. Shattered.

How did it happen? All for defense baby. DEE-fense!! My friend went to the hole for an easy layup. So that little kamikaze voice in my head started screaming “ Block his shot !!! Block his shot for the motherland!!”

Like a good soldier I obeyed the call and went for the block. Now usually I go for the ball but that day I wanted to make a statement!! I wanted to block the shot out of the court and into another zip code!!

For the motherland!!! For the....MOTHERF*** PAIN PAIN, OMIGOD so much PAIN!!!

According to bystanders, I got a gleam in my eye as I saw the player heading to the basket and I leaped into the air screaming words in Japanese! My amazing jumping ability propelled me from the ground so fast, I careened into the player. The player seeing my massive ups, cringed in horror and flailed to avoid the inevitable embarrassment that comes form trying o score on me. Or It could have been that i was screaming in Japanese.

The collision knocked my legs out from under me and my arm got pinned to my side. I landed right on that elbow and my hip landed on the elbow. It was perfect. All my weight on that elbow. Bystanders said that there was a snap but all I remember was PAIN PAIN PAIN.

I thot it was a bad sprain or muscle injury but I couldn't lift my arm. Naturally, I was not gonna play ball so I went home for some TLC from the Super Wifey. My arm was throbbing man.. couldn't move it much so we rolled to the hospital.

Now I had just hurt my arm and thot I understood what was pain. Every bump on the road was painful and turns sucked. I have never hated turns and curves EVER in my life. A lengthy 45 min wait, I got an xray.

Usually, an xray is a good thing but Not today. I can't understand why after SHATTERING YOUR ARM, the xray technician wanted me to place my arm in positions that require me to be healthy and pain free to do!! I was not having it. The tech needed to get another technician to hold me down. I was not happy about taking those xrays.Not happy? I was PISSED!!

The doc I saw, told me that I had broken my elbow. Put me in a sling.. PAINFUL!!! Couple weeks of rehab and I would be ok. She was very cherry too. Told me that this kind of injury really is great for arthritis for the rest of my life. I was like... thanks good to know.

Wifey felt a disturbance in the force when dealing with the doctor so we went to another one and they told me that I had a shattered elbow and needed surgery. SURGERY?? CRAP!!! how am I gonna pay for this? I got coverage but these sucker still cost!!!

All this for a blocked shot??

The Iphone is evidence that God loves gadgets..

If the Lord Jesus came back to Earth to reclaim it or die again for our sins. This is the phone that He will use to call God to complain about having to save us from our sins AGAIN. In fact, I think Jesus would come down just to sing a 2 yr agreement with AT&T to use His phone.

I have read all articles about this phone and remained skeptical but after watching this presentation, I am convinced.

http://www.apple.com/iphone/usingiphone/guidedtour.html

Jesus owns stock in Apple or Steve Jobs mortgaged his soul to Satan. I doubt the latter cuz this phone is too beautiful for man to make it. I believe that Jesus came up with this concept and choose Apple to bring it to being. However, the 5 yr contract with AT&T does give credence to the Satanic mortgage of Steve Job's soul.. eh..

This isn't the IPhone anymore. it is the Jesus phone. It is Holy. All imitators will be beheaded.

The price is still too much though but what do u expect from the phone given from the Most High? So I will sit back and trust that the Lord Jesus will bless me with the amount of money to purchase this phone. I will get it soon. The Lord loves me. Why use prayer when the Lord has given us the Jesus Phone.

All Praise the Jesus Phone.

Paris who?

I bet Paris Hilton will come out of prison with street cred and have a nation wide tour on her upcoming rap album. I mean, she acts stupid, bares all in a sex tape, gets paid to go to parties and act ”Hot”. Gets paid to be in a show where she slums with normal people.

Drives drunk twice while with suspended license and probation. Doesn’t read what her publicists give her to sign. Hasn’t seen a camera, she doesn’t like.

Goes to jail and now she changed??? B.S. the only change is that she doesn’t have access to the high end smack she is using while in prison.

You know what though? She isn’t the problem. We are. Society is. The only way that someone like her could be THIS popular is cuz folks ARE talking about her. Somehow she elicits a strong opinion. I blame myself.

Instead of hating her so virulently, I should simply ignore her. Act like she doesn’t exist. We all should. If the news stops talking about her and filling the front page with her shenanigans, I am pretty sure she will literally fade away to nothing..

Gay in saudi Arabia?? Don't they cut off penises for that?

I read an article talking about the vibrant gay scene in Saudi Arabia. Maybe not as blatantly obvious as the US or Europe but enough that one would wonder…

Now we talking about a country where men sit separated from women in public. Women have to wear that scarf thingie at all. No driving for women and no voting as well. Women are pretty much property it would seem.

Personally, if a woman had to endure all that restrictions and now her man might be participating in some butt plugging as well, I would be slightly peeved too. Like knife to privates peeved.

Anyway, here is the article. It is long but riveting. It brings an interesting viewpoint to how certain cultures deal with homosexuality.


http://www.yawningbread.org/apdx_2007/imp-305.htm

Music, movies and Porn

Here is a wierd thot. Download as much music as u want and u stand the chance of being sued by the RIAA otherwise known as lawyers with a VIP pass to hell.

Download Movies and the MPAA (Monkey loving Hollywood lawyers) will sue ur succulent butt too.

But d/l Porn and the only thing that could sue you would be ur g/f for emotional abuse since she can't compete with women that ALWAYS want sex and the loss of millions of potential babies.

No question about it folks, the internet tubes are sticky with the sperm of millions of men wasting their time looking at sex.

What's the harm u say? Porn doesn't hurt noone. it is just fantasy. Bull.. Porn is hurting folks left and right and we don't see it.

Hell, Alcohol kills people daily yet it is legal to drink. DOn't get me started on cigarettes yet folks are lighting up all the damn time.

Porn is like crack. U want more of ur fix and u keep looking for more of it. Maybe in the old days when porn needed seedy stores, peep shows and magazines, one could waste away a paycheck or something but now... the Internet is rife with this stuff!!1 Movies, clips, snippets. Everywhere!!!

All it takes is the wrong clip and a 14 yr old can be introduced to sex that can fry his mind. What about the women even? the girlfriends and wives? How can they compete? I mean, why should they?

Porn is waging a mental war on our brians. Altering the chemistry of sex in our heads so that people prefer staring at a screen more so than their partners. We are killing our women with this stuff. Porn makes men selfish. Even violent sometimes.

Why the tirade u ask? I saw something today that upset me. I saw a clip of a woman being raped or acting like she was raped. Soon she started "enjoying" the sex. I could help but to think that somewhere there is a guy watching this stuff THINKING that women actually do get off at being forced to sex.

This stuff is dangerous and it is free. U gotta buy alcohol or cigarettes. Porn...all u need is a wifi spot and a computer.God help us all.

Iphone Porn

WHat else needs to be said that isn't said?? If this phone delievers, I will cancel my T-Mobile subscription and drink the Iphone koolaid.. that is sooooooooooo sexy!!! Perfect for me.

Given how much AIDs is destroying Africa...

We africanz be fronting about the amount of F**king going on.. I mean really..our people are a Horny bunch..

At least in West Africa, there is a strong religious base that a lot of people follow. More so than Europe and the US. Yet, we seem to have a significant trouble with sex promiscuity. Guess it is a humn thing.

We don’t have the sexual openness that Europe has or the sexual celebration love /hate that the US has. Yet, we simply keep spreading that HIV all over the place.

Zambia, Uguanda.. folk be dropping like flies over that diseases. Man, I can’t even imagine why it is soo strong in those areas. Is it infidelity? Lack of condoms? Bad condoms?

Hampton Visit

Just curious

 Why are video girls degrading to women yet porn stars are empowered sexually?

Why is it so easy to be a stupid person?

Why do we keep repeating the same relationship mistake over and over again?

Why do we spend so much time lusting after something and soon forget it after u have gotten it?

Why do men  sleep around and then expect to find an unspoiled virgin to marry?

Why do young women keep going for that bad boy train wreck waiting to happen?

Why do couples let themselves get so fat and lazy that the love atrophies so fast?

Why are waify, starved white women used as a fashion ultimate and big bootied, breasty brown ladies as rap/hiphop video/magazines e.t.c.

Why are minivans so emasculating to me?

Why do people demonize folks for spanking their kids?

Why do we buy a house, new cars, new stuff and total almost $400 000 in debt and call it the American Dream?

Why do we NOT have any  significant liquid savings?

Why do foreign Parents neglect to teach their kids their native language and expect them to marry from their people?

Why do arranged marriages seem to  work better than “love” marriages?

Why do we work so hard to earn more only to increase spending to return to the status quo?