My wife, man head kicker, cricket hater.

My wife is a Taekwondo black belt.

Her idea of fun is strapping on pads and gloves and kicking people in the head. IN The Head. Especially male sparring partners.

As we dated, she regaled me with stories of how she learnt numerous disabling moves to do and offered to show me said moves. Naturally I declined.

She can get out of a full nelson.

Blow out my knee without much thot

She can do more sit-ups than I can.

In short, my wife can kick my ass.

Why does THIS scare the living daylights out of her? It is a freaking cricket and it happened to get into the house.

I am nestled in the midst of a lovely cuddle when her screaming makes my blood curdle.

I turn, expecting this behind with a meat hook aimed for my anus but I see this.

That is a far cry from a Jason clone with a meat hook aimed for my anus. A far cry indeed.

It makes no sense. She loves kicking men in the head yet crickets are anathema.

I am fully convinced that upon sighting a cricket and given a weapon choice of a shoe, bat, semi automatic or flame thrower, my wife will heft that flame thrower and lay waste tot the entire apartment. As long as lil jiminy doesn't make out of the inferno.

In all fairness, the cricket in our home was a lot uglier than Jiminy. Not by much. Jiminy would have still been flame roasted.