Condescending accountant!!!!

We went to an accountant to do our taxes.  I am used to getting money back every month from my taxes. So Tax day has been  a good day for me.  Wifey had an impression that he would know what new fangled tax breaks and exemptions that  we could use. So mo money for me right??? Let’s go!!

Now we drive to the place to this small town near by. Nothing special but it has this old town feel. The tax office was in an old skool colonial house  converted to office. Very old, very “ not used to negros” kinda feel. Maybe it was me but the receptionist asked who we were here to see. We told her and she promptly told us that he was busy right now and asked us to have a seat. Now she never checked a sheet, looked in on any person in that office. There were at least 2 rooms full of people. How did she know he was busy? Never mind. No biggie. I brought a book.

We sit to read then the “busy” guy comes out.  Now we are sitting on chairs, wifey is on my left. She is closest to the door that the man comes from. The guy walks across past my wife, straight to me to shake my hand.  If wifey hadn’t put her hand out there, I don’t think he would have shook hers. Why that strange? U ask?

SHE called him.

SHE arranged the appt.

SHE confirmed the appt.

Why shake MY hand? He doesn’t know me. He has met my wife and talked with her. Why shake my hand??  Now I know I am making a lot of this but it gets better.

We get into the office. I notice that he doesn’t close the door. I dunno about u but that struck me as weird. As he sits down and asks for our information,  I realize that I am not getting  a good vibe from this guy. Mannerism is slightly off. He is giving off the “ I would rather be doing something else” vibe to me. I chalk it up to my suspicious nature and ignore it.

As we hand our papers to him, I make a comment that I would be upset if I have to pay taxes this year. Like I said before, I usually get money. Paying more taxes is new to me.  I don’t  know if that was what caused the guy to go nuts inside or it was the straw that broke the camel’s back but the rest of the hour was highly unusual to me.

He took a lot at our papers and announced that my wife was gonna owe taxes! I was surprised! First that he figured it out in 2 minutes and that he seemed happy to let me know about it.  I was confused and this idiot proceeded to wave the papers we gave him in front of him like we were children. He gave us this dumped down explanation of how we most definitely were going to owe taxes. In retrospect, he was right about how the taxes were calculated but his technique was highly insulting.

I felt like he was trying to teach calculus to morons and he was beneath having to do so.  All of this to an open door so everyone out there was hearing this guy berate us and divulge our earnings and stuff. I was silent but I was fuming right now. This guy was seriously pissing me off.

So we look over my stuff and he concludes that I will get a return on my money. So all in all, we will get money back.  My return would be more than enough to cover the taxes my wife owes. Good news right? By the time he told us that, I was too pissed inside to care.  Any attempts for explanations were replied in a clear condescending manner that made me wonder if this was racial.  I can’t say of course. If he had been clear cut enough to call my wife, a nappy headed ho, I would be sure that he was a racist and one that would have a bruised face.

Ok, u are thinking, “ this isn’t so bad right?” I wish u were there, he was rude. Not outright rude but just enough to hear the underlying” U are not on my level” tone in his voice. To add insult on injury,  after he finished his paper waving tirade, he looked over the papers and told us that he would do our taxes for the same price that was done last year. He said it like he was doing us a favor!! 

We paid $400 for our taxes last time but we got more than 10 times more so no biggie. This guy is telling us that we are getting a third of what we got last time and he will do it for the same price. THANKS u lil bitch..

Now I didn’t remember how much we paid. I asked and he said that we paid $198 each. So I said” So bottom line, you will do it for $400?” And he replied” I dunno the exact number, let me calculate” he PULLED out his calculator and added $198 +198. WTF??  That is 4 buck short of 400. I don’t need a calculator for that!!!! YOU freaking shouldn’t.

So we bounced. We told him that we need to go home and dream up more deductions.  I should have told him that he was a dickwad and we will tell everyone that he had child porn portraits on his wall and he kept staring at my shoes and touching himself the entire meeting.

Man, I was pissed. I didn’t realize how upset I was til I got back to work.  I don’t remember the last time I had someone treat me or my wife that way.  Shit, I am gonna see if I can do my own taxes and see what I get from it. If I get a decent amount, I will simply file it myself.  Screw any self absorbed idiot that thinks I am doing them a favor.

If u aren’t busting ur butt trying to get me the most money for me, I am not contributing to your BMW monthly payment fund. Kiss my ass.

**this tirade doesn’t conclude any personal friends or fam that are accountants. My brother is an accountant and he has not been an arrogant self absorbed jerk since he was 13. Electro shock therapy DOEs work.  Luv ya bro.. ;)**