Every woman should have nekkid pics!!!!!

Remember in the old days. When you had take a picture and have it developed? Or if you were handy, develop it yourself? Then Polaroids came along. Instant shots??!!

 

Now we have digital cameras where I can take a pic and blast it to soo many people via email or post it on the web and have the world ogle at my naughty bits. Not MY naughty bits, I am a guy and I don't have much of me that I can photograph that is worth checking out online. Women, however do. 

 

There is something intimate about the female form. The adage of " u see one breast , you seen them all" is a LIE. You see one breast, you want to see the rest of them is more accurate.  What has woman's bodies and camera got to do with each other?

 

I honestly believe that almost every woman has had nekkid pics of themselves someplace.  Maybe they were too chicken to keep them and deleted them but I honestly think that vanity is too strong for any woman that has GOd given or manufactured firm boobies to NOT take  pics of them.

 

It is soo easy these days./ Forget Digital cameras. let talk about cell phone cameras.  in the depths of many cell phones is a grainy pics of some chick's boobs. WHY? Because men like boobs and women like showing it to them.

 

Don't give me that crap about women not wanting to show it to them. What do you call a cleavage showing top or dress? It is a juxtaposition of style and mamaries that is most pleasing to the opposite sex and some deviant members of the same sex.  If you are going to wear a dress that displays 4 inches of cleavage, why does the notion of fully exposed  boobs sounds so negative?

 

Some of you women might be smart enough to not send nekkid pictures to someone else but I highly doubt that. The combination of a splendidly youthful body with the addled teenage/young adult brain coupled with cell phone cameras is a recipe for a sex tape. 

As cameras get better, there will be more incidents of nudity flying across cellular networks and Land connections. I just saw a phone with HDMI out. HD video from a phone camera. HD boobies!!! 

The future is firm and perky!!

I know why parents don't understand.

Remember all the stuff u worried about in high school or college? Things that HAD to HAPPEN or OMG, the world will end and you will soo die?? Not so much of a big deal right now is it?

Remember complaining about the pocket money that your parents doled out to you? How you HAD to make it stretch? Or maybe some of you didn't have the pleasant memory of pocket money.  We salute you soldiers and thank you for not robbing me.

Remember that guy or girl that you soo wanted to speak with you but nothing ever came about it? Or the one that actually made your heart krump with joy yet they got tired of you and broke up with you? 

Remember who you thought you will never get over it. You would spend days playing moody R&B music involving some guy wailing about the loss of his baby and nod your head in agreement. Maybe even write some crappy poetry about the darkness of your heart. 

High School Prom is a distant memory for me. The angst I went through with that is nothing compared to the serious relationships in College or wondering if I would get married. I couldn't generate the courage to ask a gal out to the Prom!!! 

Yet now,  I was able to pull a Hot chick all the way from Chicago to be with me in Texas. DAMN, it feels good to be a gangsta!!

When I got my first job,  I remember having $100 in my pocket and 10 days before my next paycheck and I had to make it a game to survive with the money in my pocket cuz I had NO choice.

Pocket money sounds sweeet now especially since I know that rent, water, electricity, internet and cable was taken care of my Daddy and Mommy. 

Don't get me started on child birth and child rearing.

That is why parents don't understand anymore.  There is sooo much stuff that happens to us after 16 yrs that makes our memory of being that young seem freaking angelic. we think back to 15-16 yrs and nothing we went thru compares to the what we endured later.

How do u show real sympathy for a little gal that doesn't have ANY idea how bigger the real World is compared to the little one she thinks she has? How do u stay in the NOW when you have been there but seen so much more?

Parents do understand but it is just that they DO KNOW what the kids are feeling right now will be remembered fondly in comparison to what they will deal with later.

Now is that an excuse to be uncaring and brusque to your teenagers? No but it does explain why our parents didn't roll  on the floor and pour ashes on their head when you tell them that you just got a new pimple right before prom.

Some of you are thinking.. "Prom ke?" Sharrap in advance! You understand what I  am talking about. 

Am sorry.. babies suck!!

sometimes....

ever since I became a father, I laugh internally when I hear people say stuff like, I am not ready to be a father.

Who truly is? Lord knows I wasn't. I thought I was and was a very willing participant in the process but now I hold my lil pretty one in my hands, I mourn for what I lost.

I miss the spontaneity. the sheer get up and go possibilities that I had before. The funny thing was that I had mourned the loss of my single spontaneity. Now, I miss the spontaneity of being married with no child.

I think what annoys me the most is the degree of difficulty certain things have become because I have a child now.

The husband /wife dynamic totally changes. I now refer to Childbirth as the Great reset. Any decisions, discussions, plans or deals made before the baby are subject to change.

I miss my pre baby wife. This new one was unexpected.

That is the key isn't it? All of this is unexpected. I don;t care how "ready" you think you are. It is all unexpected. You might "know" what you will expect but the experience is different for everyone.

I knew that the relationship between my spouse and I will change but I didn't realize how much I would miss the old relationship. I didn't think that I would feel it so sharply.

I miss my pre baby life.

Now some might consider this whiny.I can't unmake my child and I can't go back in time. These things I miss, exist in the past. All I can do is forge forward wit hmy new reality.

People say that the first few years in their marriage was hard. Mine were very easy and wonderful. Maybe it is time for me to work harder in my marriage and buil don the foundation we had in the initial years.

Love still fills my home. I love wifey and my child can be a joy to behold. I just have this new reality that I need to forge into something wonderful.

I will not sacrifice my marriage for my child. I will love my wife and my child and we will all grow together for it.

Thank you for listening to me bitch. I guess for the first time in my marriage, I now have to actively work on sculpting it to something wonderful. I am lucky in that respect.

Some might think I wish I could have delayed having kids with all the complaining I am doing. I had them at the right time as far as I am concerned. if I could have had them earlier, i would have.

Lie to me!!

Sometimes after u been with somebody for a while. the stories get kinda stale. U start hearing the same childhood stories she told u before about her mother and u just have to grin and bear it.

Don't get me wrong. As a guy, I have less stories on MY rotation so I am sure my girl has had to weather thru the same " the day I became a real Man" story 11- 120 times.

That aside, the answers to "How was your day?" are the issue here. After 2-3 years of hearing "fine" or "ok" or " great" start to get on your nerves.

Wifey comes home from the grocery stores and all she has in her story basket is some chick mistaken our baby girl for a guy. That is it.
I asked " what did you say to her?"
"Nothing" she replied, I walked off.
BooooooooooooooRING.....

I am sure she LOOVES to hear my stories about how my customers were upset that they didn't have 24/7 access to the internet or my meetings with my boss that went very well.

"How was your meeting?"

"It went well. We came up with some good action points and left with a consensus of what needs to be done at the blah... blah blah blah.."
BooooooRrrring......

You start to look at your spouse and think "Why doesn't anything interesting happen to you?" "Why don't you get kidnapped or something and come back to tell us about it?!!"

Anything!! Just don't came back from work to hear that nothing interesting happened.

So it came to me today. How about we spice up our life by lying about it?? Seriously! What harm would there be if we did. At least we could weave a great yarn that will entrance our listeners for the day.

Maintain the lie as long as you can. It will be fun that way.

Imagine the grocery story with embellishments.

"Honey , can you believe that someone say our baby with the pink bow in her head and STILL called her a boy??!!"

"Wow, what did you say to her??"

"I grabbed her hair and pulled it as close to the baby carrier and demanded that she apologize to my baby girl for her insults!! When she struggled, I slapped her 3 times and dropkicked her into the frozen food section!!!"

"Holy crap!! u r awesome!!!"

Now tell me that doesn't brighten up your evening with that story. Now wifey and I can cuddle by the TV, anticipating a SWAT team knocking on our door. If that isn't exciting, I don't know what to tell you.

What about my Boss meeting story?

" Honey , how was your meeting with your boss?"

Awesome!! My CEO and 3 VPs joined the meeting on a whim and congratulated me on a fantastic job so far. They wanted to reward me with a 5% raise and I told my CEO to kiss my ass with that pansy raise. One of the VP tried to reprimand and I told HIM to suck it!!"

"Wow, incredible!! what did they say to that??!!"

"The CEO was impressed and praised my huge cojones and gave me a 200% raise!!! "

"Wow Awesome baby, I love you even more!!!"

Go ahead, try it out. Take a normal, mundane day and spin a great lie about it. Give your spouse one exciting story for the day. It might not be true but it sure will beat the usual crap we say.

I feel bad for the old geezer racists

I feel bad for the old racists. The ones 70 yrs or more. The ones that REALLY can talk about the good old days. Those days, they could string up a Negro on a tree and gather around, take pictures and talk about family vacations while the man kicked and died over their heads.

Being able to scare away black families with a brightly lit cross, some choice words, harassment and still make it in time to be an usher for the Wednesday bible study at Church.

Those great days when there were still enough overt legal Jim crow laws being enforced to allow old racists to still feel that Negroes knew their places. A negro could be free but if he didn’t have a job, correct papers, the right color shoes and looked suspicious, they locked him up a jail and made him work his sentence in "prison farms".

I am sure they all curse the name of MLK. "MLK messed that up" they mutter in their soup .
Civil rights movement really pushed those old "string a nigger up" days out of their social calendar. Bear in mind, they were still doing it but skulking into the dark woods just didn’t have the same panache as a Main street lynching.

Even though I am sure they sent copious thank you cards and poured liquor out to the idiot that killed James Byrd in Texas over there. Something to the effect that he was old skool with his negro relationship skills.

In 2009, they must just HATE life. Especially when they turn on TV. Every new channel every day talking about it. It must suck old geezer donkey balls.

" A black president??? U must be freaking kidding me??!! Every time I see him on TV, I spit out my teeth, then change the channel and have to get my jamaican nurse to drain my colostomy bag."

Hurry up and Die racists. I hope your health insurance agent is black as well. I am sorry, I take that back. I hope you all live a very long time and may all your daughters marry a man from another race.

Have some more black eyed pea soup.

Been a long time..

Wow, it has been along time. I have actually been on face book for awhile now.  I guess I fashied this side for the new hotness but I am back now because I realized that this blog here is Mine and alone. 

It might not have the viewership I have on facebook but it will allow me to say what I want and when I want. 

I am going to transfer some of my notes to  blogspot  over the next 2-3 days. there will be a lot of new content for any none FB people so hopefully you can enjoy.

How screwed are we?

Each Candidate wants to spend their way out of this .. this fiasco we call an economy. the Government is bailing out private orgs. People call it unprecedented but is it really? When private companies can get in soo close with Government to the point of drafting bills that the senator just rubber stamps. We past unprecedented a long time ago. It was Congress that deregulated the markets that allowed for such a FUBAR situation. Maybe it is justified that tax payer money is used to bail these companies out. It was tax payers that elected these ass holes to office and it was lazy tax payers that allowed incumbents have an almost unprecedented reign in congress and the senate. 

Obama is a breath of fresh air but can he really fix this mess?  Maybe we need to let McCain field this situation. Let the Republicans have the next 4 yrs cuz it will be rough. I don;t know how I will feel in 4 yrs when I hear some short sighted republican bleating on how the Democrats didn't fix anything the last 4 yrs, let the Repubs come in and do a better job.

I wonder how I can convert my assets to currency that will withstand this crash..  

My parents are crazy and I blame my baby!!!

My parents are crazy and I blame my baby. That cute fragile of joy, love, poop and sleep bring the crazy out of parents. CRAZY!!!!! Parents treat their grandkids more protectively than they treat their kids and it freaking pisses me off!!

I mean, my mommy raised me in freaking Warri!! Mosquito ridden warri. Yeah I lived in Shell Camp but mosquitos full ground. Malaria everywhere.

No car seat, childproofing of homes and yet I don’t understand how I could have survived my first 2 months with the way doctors talk about taking children outside in the US! In the US, we have people that don’t let their children out of their apartments for 3 months cuz of the freaking germs outside. How do Nigerian babies survive with those terminator mosquitos out there??

The same mommy that took her 2 week child on an intl plane trip now thinks that taking my child out for a walk is dangerous. Let’s see. A sealed airborne tube of germ filled folks all stuck together for the next 15 hours breathing recycled air versus a walk outside a nice house?

You know how I know that parents are crazy? I made this argument and I was told that these are different times then. Obviously the germs in the 70s were nicer to their elders and didn’t talk about to them as well. **sigh*

It took me a while to not grind my teeth when my parents said stuff like”be careful with my child!!” as I carried her. Your child? Your child?

I didn't understand how much of a crossroads having a child is. All of a sudden, the notion of protecting my family becomes starkly evident. The realization that I can and Will lay ANYONE out if they do anything harmful to my children is suprising.

If my dad went nuts and tried to hurt my girl, he is getting dropkicked in the chest.
My mom? Clothesline off the turnbuckle.
Father in law? Super suplex with a DDT.
Mother in law? Figure 4 leg lock with... u get the picture right?

I don't know if there is a way to negotiate thru the expectations of parents without hurting feelings or worse.
There is something about a child that brings up all these desires for their grand child and they turn this very critical eye on their Grown Ass Children to see if they are up to the task of raising the new born.

God forbid, the G.A.C does, says, thinks or attempts something that they feel is NOT provider material.
God help you because it WILL happen, watch out!!

Never has a critical eye being placed on my financial situation like it has now that I am a father. I swear, I felt like I needed to submit a credit report to my parents and explain to them why I don’t have a perfect score and what made me think that I could bring a child into this world with this score??

Now, the big one is house work. Most Parents will arrive at a child house and declare it filthy and sparkle the hell out of it. When single, that stuff is freaking awesome. I truly recommend that u get your mom to come over and clean your apt and as soon as she leaves, you move out to a new one. That is the only way you will see any cents of that security deposit.

When married, it is a tad embarrassing especially if the parents blame your spouse for the current condition of the house. Usually they will blame me for my slovenly ways and spend their time cackling about how horrible picking up underwear is.

When married with child, it is a whole ball of wax. Every dust ball is a crime against humanity. Soiled laundries are indication to call Child protection Services and god forbid, dirty dishes stay for more than a day…

I can take most of this stuff because it is based out of a desperate love for my child. They mean well. They do. Thy have to carry and hold my kid for a short period of time before they have to go back to their lives elsewhere. Instead of holding on to my child when they want to take her from me, I should give her to them. I will have a lot more hugs than they will ever have in their lifetime plus they are old already. I need to see some things from their POV.

One thing did upset me soo much . I don’t know how else I should feel about it but when parents try to physically protect their grandkids from their parents, I see red. When they take it upon themselves that THEY know what is better for the child than I do. It is like their love has been tainted by the dark side.

I would make a Wheel of Time reference ( Saidar/saidin) but the geek police will taser me.

I love my parents but that is too much. You don’t get many opportunities to dropkick a father in the chest. Please don’t tempt me pops.

Why are Computers stil Slow???!!!!

I mean seriously!! We have Handheld devices that are currently faster than the Computers I used in College!

My Cell phone downloads pages off the internet faster than modems I used too.

I have seen 14.4 kbps Modems to 15 Megs downloads.

Pentium 150MHz to Pentium Quad Core 3GHz procs. 

Don't get me started on video card specs.

So.. WHY.. THE.. FREAK.. DOES IT.. TAKE.. MINUTES.. FOR FR..EAKING .. WINDOWS .. TO LOAD...???!!!!!!